Comments on: Forgiveness Alternatives http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/ with Mart De Haan and Friends Fri, 19 Mar 2010 03:27:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: etw2004 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-12268 etw2004 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 14:34:59 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-12268 I appreciate this post! There are two people I have been hurt by and I am having trouble being able to let go of the hurt. The first was simply a comment made years ago by a friend. My anger came because it discouraged my daughter and embarrassed me. So pride is part of the problem. She does not even know how her impulsive comment hurt me, and I feel I overreacted. The second person was my son-in-law. For years he abused my daughter, finally attempted to kill her in front of me and their children. He is in jail and has not asked for forgiveness at this time, but I'm not sure that would make a difference, he has asked for forgiveness in the past, I'd forgive but then he'd continue his behavior. I do pray for both of these people, especially my son-in-law. I believe it would be best if he was healed and whole and could love my daughter and his kids as God would have him do. I don't doubt God could help him if he's willing. But I don't really want him back in our lives. This post helped me to remember that God is in control. Vengeance is his. He saved my daughter's life, he will direct the future for my son-in-law. He will give me the grace to forgive him. So "faith in God, humility, love and hope" are the keys to finding peace and allow me to love and pray for both of these people again. Thanks! I appreciate this post! There are two people I have been hurt by and I am having trouble being able to let go of the hurt. The first was simply a comment made years ago by a friend. My anger came because it discouraged my daughter and embarrassed me. So pride is part of the problem. She does not even know how her impulsive comment hurt me, and I feel I overreacted.

The second person was my son-in-law. For years he abused my daughter, finally attempted to kill her in front of me and their children. He is in jail and has not asked for forgiveness at this time, but I’m not sure that would make a difference, he has asked for forgiveness in the past, I’d forgive but then he’d continue his behavior.

I do pray for both of these people, especially my son-in-law. I believe it would be best if he was healed and whole and could love my daughter and his kids as God would have him do. I don’t doubt God could help him if he’s willing. But I don’t really want him back in our lives.

This post helped me to remember that God is in control. Vengeance is his. He saved my daughter’s life, he will direct the future for my son-in-law. He will give me the grace to forgive him.

So “faith in God, humility, love and hope” are the keys to finding peace and allow me to love and pray for both of these people again. Thanks!

]]> By: poohpity http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-10291 poohpity Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:50:10 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-10291 Me too! Me too!

]]> By: ErnieA http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-10287 ErnieA Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:43:38 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-10287 I just finished reading R.T. Kendal's book "Total Forgiveness". Within it he claims that if we don't forgive, we will not be forgiven (we lose our fellowship with God). I would be interested in any thoughts concerning this teaching. I tend to agree with him. Thanks! I just finished reading R.T. Kendal’s book “Total Forgiveness”. Within it he claims that if we don’t forgive, we will not be forgiven (we lose our fellowship with God). I would be interested in any thoughts concerning this teaching.
I tend to agree with him.
Thanks!

]]> By: je7elle http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-206 je7elle Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:44:12 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-206 Something that can help us to deal with our anger towards others who have not admitted to doing us wrong is to take the same attitude as Christ did on the cross as Luke 23:34 records- Then said Jesus, Father forgive them;for they know not what they do. And they parted his riment, and cast lots. He suffered many things before calvary. A crowd followed, and couldn't wait for his ultimate demise, yet he asked that they be forgiven. I read that one day and to mind came some of my sin how I never considered-even fully understood the consequences to follow, or how bad a choice I was making in the moment. No, the realization of what could go terribly wrong, and how wrong, or how flaw I was for even making such decisions came after the dirty deed was already done. Many of us can relate I am sure!!! Something so simple, and seemed harmless did much damage. Sometimes people-we do not know what they-we do. They do not know how deeply their actions effected your life. They do not understand how hurt you will be, or how inconvienced, or that the affects will reach far beyond you....say maybe touch your family. Sometimes we do things out of our selfish desires not meaning to harm anyone, yet we are in sin, and we end up tearing something up. We must realize our offender does not know that they are crucifying the Lord of Lords! It is easy for me to forgive as I examine myself and the things that I have done. I find myself understanding where Christ was coming from when he prayed that prayer on the cross..."Father forgive them..." If we focus on Christ, and how he suffered, his attitude, behaviour, and purpose, and we examine ourselves forgiving becomes simple. This process helped me. I struggled for years with forgiveness. I hope it will help someone else. Something that can help us to deal with our anger towards others who have not admitted to doing us wrong is to take the same attitude as Christ did on the cross as Luke 23:34 records- Then said Jesus, Father forgive them;for they know not what they do. And they parted his riment, and cast lots.
He suffered many things before calvary. A crowd followed, and couldn’t wait for his ultimate demise, yet he asked that they be forgiven.
I read that one day and to mind came some of my sin how I never considered-even fully understood the consequences to follow, or how bad a choice I was making in the moment. No, the realization of what could go terribly wrong, and how wrong, or how flaw I was for even making such decisions came after the dirty deed was already done. Many of us can relate I am sure!!! Something so simple, and seemed harmless did much damage.
Sometimes people-we do not know what they-we do. They do not know how deeply their actions effected your life. They do not understand how hurt you will be, or how inconvienced, or that the affects will reach far beyond you….say maybe touch your family. Sometimes we do things out of our selfish desires not meaning to harm anyone, yet we are in sin, and we end up tearing something up. We must realize our offender does not know that they are crucifying the Lord of Lords!
It is easy for me to forgive as I examine myself and the things that I have done. I find myself understanding where Christ was coming from when he prayed that prayer on the cross…”Father forgive them…” If we focus on Christ, and how he suffered, his attitude, behaviour, and purpose, and we examine ourselves forgiving becomes simple. This process helped me. I struggled for years with forgiveness. I hope it will help someone else.

]]> By: Thomas Brown http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-199 Thomas Brown Tue, 18 Mar 2008 02:25:20 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-199 The above posts, I can not begin to change. I can however add to. I myself am the chief of sinners. I mean that. Most times I find when I am faced with the choice to forgive or not, I am reminded by the Holy Spirit that I am guilty of having at some time in my life having commited the same offense or closely related offense. How can I not foregive the thing I have done? I can withold it lovingly if I have been there, not wanting to see them wander down the paths I have walked. I have a real problem with my children understanding this. " But Dad, you did it." I am reminded that we are all apprentices in this life. John 8 sums it up for me. In Christ, Thomas Brown The above posts, I can not begin to change. I can however add to. I myself am the chief of sinners. I mean that. Most times I find when I am faced with the choice to forgive or not, I am reminded by the Holy Spirit that I am guilty of having at some time in my life having commited the same offense or closely related offense. How can I not foregive the thing I have done? I can withold it lovingly if I have been there, not wanting to see them wander down the paths I have walked. I have a real problem with my children understanding this. ” But Dad, you did it.” I am reminded that we are all apprentices in this life. John 8 sums it up for me.
In Christ,
Thomas Brown

]]> By: Mike http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-198 Mike Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:48:45 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/2008/03/17/forgiveness-alternatives/#comment-198 I think the most common thing Christians do when they've been wronged is to talk about it with others in an effort to lower someone's status or stature. I don't want people to think highly of the person who has offended my by their arrogant behavior, so I tell others how offended I am and how arrogant the other is. A true Christian grace would be to make efforts to focus on the person's good points. The old adage "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'm finally at the point where I don't say anything at all, and I'm working toward being able to say something nice. I think the most common thing Christians do when they’ve been wronged is to talk about it with others in an effort to lower someone’s status or stature. I don’t want people to think highly of the person who has offended my by their arrogant behavior, so I tell others how offended I am and how arrogant the other is. A true Christian grace would be to make efforts to focus on the person’s good points. The old adage “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I’m finally at the point where I don’t say anything at all, and I’m working toward being able to say something nice.

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