The Danger of Counselors

Mart De Haan Posted by Mart De Haan
May 2nd, 2008
Filed in Uncategorized
 

I have my first individual session with a marriage counselor and waste no time making my case. I say, “It’s gotten so bad my wife doesn’t even listen to me any more. I think she’s deaf or something. But she won’t do anything about it.”

“Well”, the counselor says to me, “I’d like to know how hard of hearing she is. First chance you get, try something. Stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn’t reply, move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep moving closer until she hears you so we can get an idea of just how bad her hearing is”.

So, I go home and find my wife in the kitchen, stir frying some vegetables. Just like the counselor told me, I stand about 15 feet from her and say in a rather low voice, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Hearing no response, I move about 5 feet closer and ask again. No reply, so I move 5 feet closer. Still no reply.

With confirmed frustration, I now move to within two inches of her ear, and raising my voice ever so slightly ask again, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Not missing a beat, she turns around, looks me in the eye and says, “What’s wrong with you? For the fourth time, chicken and vegetables!”

Maybe that’s why some of us are wary of counselors :-)

Can’t remember where I heard that one. But with the smile, comes some wisdom– under the radar.

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7 Responses to “The Danger of Counselors”

  1. Ika Says:
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    Good morning Mart!

    waakakaak…. sometimes we directly blame others while we ourselves is the problem. wakkaka.. but it is so funny.

    It makes me consider that before we put a judgment to others, we should know that we are not perfect, so do they.

    I read Philip Yancey’s book yesterday, and He told me that Grace is the thing which could take care of us, reach us so that we could live by Him. Unfortunately, we sometimes ignore it and just throw our opinion and judgment the others.

  2. Gale L. Jarvis Says:
    May 3rd, 2008 at 4:09 am

    Good Morning everyone, Mart, been there done that, i have had hearings aids for several years, but i still have trouble listening to what others say, i believe it is not always the lack of ability.
    I also believe what we call not being able to remember is caused by lack of interest many times, and not the ability to remember, old age is not always the problem.
    The thought someone came up with, that many of us only hear what we want to hear is a big problem with many of us.
    I believe every thing comes to us through our desire, begining with the new birth, coming to know God well enough to desire to live with Him, and then asking God to save us, we can do nothing in our own strength, but desiring to listen to the Holy Spirit as He directs us in the right direction always is the key to the abundant life, if, ( IF ) we follow His direction.

  3. laureynlee Says:
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:22 am

    This story is funny when it isn’t about us personally. My husband can hear me say something sarcastic under my breath when we aren’t in agreement, but if I am asking him a question in a normal tone that he really doesn’t want to answer, I usually have to repeat myself. Sometimes though, I don’t ask the question in words that he understands and it just goes over his head. A negative output usually gets a quicker response over positve one in disagreements and we play into that postion because we are so eager to spill our guts; so we hand the “knife” to our spouses and then blame them for cutting us open. If we would seek God’s Will in every little situation, a lot of stupid things would be left unsaid.

  4. daisymarygoldr Says:
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Eyes that cannot see, nose that cannot smell, hands that cannot cook, ears that cannot hear…any wonder God knew that it is not good that the man should be alone and made him a help meet for him?!:)
    “To God belong WISDOM and power; COUNSEL and understanding are his”(Job 12:13)

  5. poohpity Says:
    May 3rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    I learned in counseling that usually when we are pointing the finger at someone we have three pointing back at us. I think that is why Matthew 7:1-4 was written it is also found in Luke. Sometimes when we are not open to what God’s word says about us paying close attention to our own behavior it helps to go to counseling so that our eyes can be open to change especially when we are in denial and want to blame everyone for our own shortcomings. It is so much easier to understand Grace when we understand ourselves and how undeserving we are yet He loved us enough to give all to us. WOW all praise and thanksgiving is HIS.

  6. desert rose Says:
    May 6th, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Some of the best advise I received was from a Christian counselor when I was complaining about my spouse. I was told “He will be responsible before God for his actions, not you.” When we both met together the counselor again told us both the same thing. It took away the responsibility I felt for making sure he did the right thing. I wanted to protect his short comings and not let the children or grandchildren see them. He and I both learned a lot. We need to be a light into the world and we will be responsible for our actions.

  7. dshomebody Says:
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:15 am

    Well this I guess Jesus should have also said get the mote out your ears first before trying to remove it from other ears. We just need to be slow to judgement and quick to love and deal with matters with love always as the motivator of our own actions. But I’ve alway maintained in my life that people do what they want to do and sometimes people hear what they want to hear except when it comes to them.

    Peac and Love to all

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