Sharing the Journey
(March 28/06)

Because He first loved me, I am able to see;
In my mind’s eye what He wants me to be,
God patiently waits for me to respond;
With complete trust from now to the end.

God’s faith in me, never waivers one bit;
Because He already knows, how things in my life fits.
God patiently waits for me to respond;
With complete confidence from now to the end.

The reason why things are the way they turn out;
It takes life’s experiences to show me the route.
To help others see every step of the way;
The way God brings joy, to them some day.

God patiently waits for me to respond;
With complete faith from now to the end.

Journey through the Valley
(October 30/06)

In my minds eye, I am traveling through the valley
Joy in life doesn’t seem to be in my alley.
My thoughts travel up and then they go low;
But then I know of that which I must let go.

Where is the Lord, He seems so far away?
Will he lift the burden and show me not to stray?
Prayer is a struggle and words become shallow;
But then I know of that which I must let go

Turn to the Lord and let Him have his way;
With all that I do I must trust and obey
Then something comes up, a glimmer of hope
I will go from the valley out of the slippery slope

Journey through the Mountains
(Dec 5/06)

I’m on higher ground, the Lord took me there
And because He is near, I will not despair;
The journey is long and the view is wide
But I must look straight ahead and know He is by my side.

More times than not the path will be rocky,
It will bend and twist and turn and be bumpy;
But when the going gets tough I will always know
The path to take is the straight and narrow.

It’s not so easy just to know and to ponder
About life’s difficult trials when you begin to wonder;
As the climb up the mountain becomes tougher and tougher
Is He still there as the going gets rougher?

And then the relentless climb seems to come to an end
But suddenly an obstacle comes right around the bend
Too tough to climb up, to go around or under,
It seems impossible, you begin to wonder.

But just when you think that all is lost
The Lord follows through and you count the cost
Of churning your wheels and going at length
Through stressing and straining within your own strength

He was there all the time quietly waiting for you
To accept His guidance and to know that it’s true
That your journey could be shorter without the strain;
When you depend on Him to relieve the pain.

I think it’s bloody unfair sometimes too and I get so sick of it. Forgive me for the following rant – I need to get this off my chest as well.

I was fantastic at all sorts of sports, a good student, not bad at music. But I was born with atopic eczema and couldn’t take the sun and heat so my mother and doctor didn’t allow me to do any sports. I came down with severe depression at 12, my school grades dropped and I lost many chances to go into good schools. I lost interest in almost everything including music and stopped playing musical instruments.

Why did God give me these gifts to have them crushed?

Somehow I made it to univerisity and did my first degree abroad. Some good Christian people found me and stuck with my weirdness and craziness caused from anti-depressants. Just when I felt I was progressing spiritually, my course ended and I had to return home.

Why did God give me good friends and help me progress and then make me leave?

After graduating I held a job for two months but left severely traumatised from bullying and being overworked. I couldn’t find another job. My parents got me to study again – said I couldn’t just sit at home. Ended up studying for another degree abroad. I’ve had a miserable three years with eating problems, depression, being racially discriminated against. The students here – they copy other people’s work and pay people to do their assignments for them. They rip pages out of library books to prevent other people from accessing them. So many have come to me asking for lecture notes and exam notes and I give what I have to them, but when I ask them for help they refuse to help or say yes and then conveniently forget.

I work so hard and do not copy or cheat, but what is the point of being honest and hardworking when those who copy and cheat and are selfish get ahead with good marks and get places in top firms? What is the point of being nice when you just get trampled on? Why does God make their lives so smooth – they don’t even care about God – yet make mine so painful?

I am homosexual but have never acted on it. Everyone has different views on homosexuality. I feel that God does not want me to act on it. I see other homosexuals acting on it and have wonderful lives. Why am I suffering?

Lots of times I cry myself to sleep telling God I cannot take it anymore and He should never have created me. I beg Him to kill me please, to destroy my existence, make it so I never existed. I get so feddup and frustrated.. I hate God sometimes. And I don’t know why I hang on to God still for dear life. Day by day, just trying to make it through.

It really sucks for some people. It’s bloody unfair. I don’t know why. I don’t know what to say about your situation Trying To Trust God. But you must hang in there. You have to. I don’t know why. You just must hang in there with all your might. Just hang in there.

I am confused how you figure that the life of Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon were considered blessed without struggle. I have read their stories many times and have found that they were blessed with struggles. I have never read about anyone in scripture who was without struggles, no one and I ask you to show me who. Example: Let’s just consider the life of Abraham. He was shown a land that was promised to His descendants and was never able to go there. He was promised that his descendants would be more than the stars in the sky or the sand in the desert, did he ever see the fulfillment of those. He wanted a son and that did not happen until he was 100 years old, except that he took matters into his own hands and had Ismael who’s descendants have created radical Islam. David’s son died because he had an affair and killed someone and not to mention the new testament people who were stoned, whipped, beheaded, hung upside down on a cross, put in jail, starved, homeless, made fun of and not to mention Jesus who being Himself God went through being whipped with a whip with shards of metal and glass that ripped His body to where it was unrecognizable as human flesh and then had nails driven into His hands and feet while He suffocated until death so that we could approach a Holy God. If there is nothing else to be thankful for when we die we will be accepted into a place where there will be no more pain, suffering or tears.

I alone have spent the the majority of my childhood being physically and emotionally abused. I had 4 Hip surgeries before the age of 15 and 5 more since. I had a person (my first husband) knock my eye through my eye socket and my skull cracked open(with 2 pool sticks) trying to defend someone who could not defend himself. I empathize with you in your suffering but in my life and those that have suffered in the bible no one is exempt from suffering and it does not mean anyone is loved anymore than anyone else. I believe you are blessed because you are able to experience the sadness that the Lord feels for us and experienced for us when He did not deserve it. You can see and feel the pain He feels for us when He sees us in times of trouble. Through this period in your life embrace it because one day YOU will be able to comfort someone else who is going through what you are going through because there will be someone else someday and then you will be able to bring them HOPE.

I love God very much and trust Him with my life because I know He loves me because of what He did on the cross and if nothing else ever happens, That I think is a blessing, That proves His love for us.

I do not know why Psalms 2 came into my spirit and I am sure you have read it many times.

However for all it’s worth you can read it again.

These 3 verses are offered as a start

7 The king proclaims the Lord’s decree:
“The Lord said to me, ‘You are my son.
Today I have become your Father.
8 Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance,the whole earth as your possession.
9 You will break[d] them with an iron rod
and smash them like clay pots.’

Sammy