Comments on: Feeling Down http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/ with Mart De Haan and Friends Thu, 18 Mar 2010 03:46:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: hilly http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-10286 hilly Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:39:18 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-10286 I read my bible more than ever. I rely on Him for everything so much more than I ever realized. We can’t do anything by ourselves. ANYTHING. I have come to know myself as a worm; completely reliant.<a href="http://http://www.softcialis.net//Soft Cialis/" rel="nofollow">Soft Cialis</a> I read my bible more than ever. I rely on Him for everything so much more than I ever realized. We can’t do anything by ourselves. ANYTHING. I have come to know myself as a worm; completely reliant.Soft Cialis

]]> By: poohpity http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-8803 poohpity Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:41:28 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-8803 You have my prayers and I know when things get rough He is holding you in the palm of His hand. When you can not see His hand trust His heart. Love Deb You have my prayers and I know when things get rough He is holding you in the palm of His hand. When you can not see His hand trust His heart. Love Deb

]]> By: bjgjcookinglady http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-8800 bjgjcookinglady Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:28:34 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-8800 Depression tends to run in my family. I have a niece who suffers with bipolar. Thanks to the prayers of family and friends she is currently taking her medication and is doing better. Myself am in the pits at the present. I blame myself for the most part for my position and have no idea how to get out of it. I know that at the present I am in a state of depression and because of a battery of things that have happened to family members and myself over the past few years does not make it easier to bounce back. I am usually the "strong" person in my family, but feel very frail at present. I find myself withdrawing from family and friends. I do pray and try to have faith that God will see me through this. I ask the this praying community pray my strength in holding on to the belief that Jesus is my source and that through him all things are possible. Thanks. Depression tends to run in my family. I have a niece who suffers with bipolar. Thanks to the prayers of family and friends she is currently taking her medication and is doing better. Myself am in the pits at the present. I blame myself for the most part for my position and have no idea how to get out of it. I know that at the present I am in a state of depression and because of a battery of things that have happened to family members and myself over the past few years does not make it easier to bounce back. I am usually the “strong” person in my family, but feel very frail at present. I find myself withdrawing from family and friends. I do pray and try to have faith that God will see me through this. I ask the this praying community pray my strength in holding on to the belief that Jesus is my source and that through him all things are possible. Thanks.

]]> By: Lynette http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-8610 Lynette Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:53:29 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-8610 Hi, I am staying half a globe away in the Far East. How do you define sad? negative, depressed or upset? I've got a "friend" who uses this on me that I believe I am one. I live with this stigma for years. I have no confidence when we are to meet-up, so I'd reject or avoid every opportunity. Yes, I admit that I have my monthly blues, only for a couple of days; as any human, I cant possibly always be cloud nine. I've checked with my colleagues and most say that I am ok other than a stern and serious face (I cant help it if I am born with that!) With the passage of time, I find I have a deep seeded bitterness, anger and frustration toward this person. I've been on my knees many times, but whenever, this "friend" contacts me (based overseas), this wave of anger and bitterness seem to get the better of me. What is happening to me? Hi, I am staying half a globe away in the Far East. How do you define sad? negative, depressed or upset? I’ve got a “friend” who uses this on me that I believe I am one. I live with this stigma for years. I have no confidence when we are to meet-up, so I’d reject or avoid every opportunity. Yes, I admit that I have my monthly blues, only for a couple of days; as any human, I cant possibly always be cloud nine. I’ve checked with my colleagues and most say that I am ok other than a stern and serious face (I cant help it if I am born with that!) With the passage of time, I find I have a deep seeded bitterness, anger and frustration toward this person. I’ve been on my knees many times, but whenever, this “friend” contacts me (based overseas), this wave of anger and bitterness seem to get the better of me. What is happening to me?

]]> By: Godmakesmeable http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-8182 Godmakesmeable Tue, 26 May 2009 11:18:59 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-8182 I thought I might change my screen name to "a worm". It is strange, but I feel a tremendous guilt when I reach out at all from a very lonely place. I have to admit I have always been a little lonely due to the fact that my childhood was constantly uprooted and never experienced community. Makes it hard to trust and feel accepted anywhere-- especially in churches. I tend to look for input and help where I don't have to explain myself and so I really appreciate the blogging; but I know that I need others input--its so hard to find the right "others". A pat on the head makes the pain of detachedness multiply and compound. The last thing I want to feel is like an outsider or newcomer among believers; or compete with anyone for acceptance. Why is it that groups of christians tend to alienate individuals as much or more than the world does? Somehow we have to connect through activity and so much group activity. To me it is so intimidating. I know there is somethings really wrong with me. I wish church was coming to a place where you could say "I'm beat, I'm tired" but it has always overwhelmed me with the personality competition aspect. If you say you are hurting you are treated as if you are different... but aren't we all equal in that we aren't perfect? I've been to a lot of different churches they are all so similar in this. I recently spoke to a counselor and was having trouble explaining myself because I think I was overwhelmed at the thought of trying to. He kept asking if it was something specific, but honestly, the rolodex of specifics in my mind was blowing around like a tornado. I smiled and said I was sorry to be so disorganized and unable to communicate. He started reacting to me as if I was still trying to accept christ in my heart. He even questioned me about that. I felt embarrassed. It isn't Christ its you I don't accept or trust, I thought to myself. As a believer it is hard to seek help... you want to be help for others. I think of my father who passed away a couple years ago who ran into a homeless family. (himself not much better off). Instead of giving the man something; my father asked him if he had anything he wanted to sell. My dad bought a knife from him. For some reason that stands out in relation to these things to me. Can't seem to summarize why but maybe someone else can do it better. My marriage is adding to my lonliness and isolation. I feel like a butterfly under a glass. Yet I feel closer to God than I have ever been. I know the answers to these strange things happening around me is Him alone. My own family lives very separated by distance (not necessarily by heart). I am the youngest of 8. My family is far from ideal but love has been a deep and mysterious thing, nothing to "show" for it though. My husbands parents live close. My husband is their only child. They have a mold all prepared for me, and my marriage seems like I was joined to them along with my husband. To them it just seems to make sense that now I'm "their" daughter. My children are "theirs". What do I possibly have to show otherwise? To them these things are just true. It would seem I have been given into their hands. It's like if a tree falls and no one is there does it really happen? I feel like the tree. Even if no one else sees or hears, God does. I feel like a helpless spectator to destructive behavior all around. I don't know how to handle my father in law's whims of direction and unasked guidance on parenting toward me. I never imagined such a family existed. I never thought I could be so trapped. I'm not fooled into thinking this is what plugging in and having roots is all about. more than ever my roots are in Christ alone. My home is in heaven. My life is in God. I love them all but I can't fix anything. Or can I?? I feel inadequate in every way at times. Especially as a mother. I just keep trying to seek God on how to raise my child the way he should go and look for the unexpected so I wont miss it when it comes.I need God desperately and I try not to worry that indeed he is not angry, punishing, or slaying me. I am alive because in spite of the damage all around I know he LOVES me. There is a reason I am where I am. I'm waiting and its hard to understand what God means for me to do with all this, but soak it all in. If I don't know; I just keep praying. I read my bible more than ever. I rely on Him for everything so much more than I ever realized. We can't do anything by ourselves. ANYTHING. I have come to know myself as a worm; completely reliant. There is no history, no relationship, no knowlege, no genuineness, no kindness, no roots, no hope without His providence of it. I can't make a way for myself. What can I do but wait and learn patience. I'm afraid of being a grumbling desert wanderer. I am afraid to reach out and get a pat on the head or a question of my faith. I feel like a plane in an indefinite holding pattern. God is my controller. He loves me, he loves me. He loves me. Over. :-) I thought I might change my screen name to “a worm”. It is strange, but I feel a tremendous guilt when I reach out at all from a very lonely place. I have to admit I have always been a little lonely due to the fact that my childhood was constantly uprooted and never experienced community. Makes it hard to trust and feel accepted anywhere– especially in churches. I tend to look for input and help where I don’t have to explain myself and so I really appreciate the blogging; but I know that I need others input–its so hard to find the right “others”. A pat on the head makes the pain of detachedness multiply and compound. The last thing I want to feel is like an outsider or newcomer among believers; or compete with anyone for acceptance. Why is it that groups of christians tend to alienate individuals as much or more than the world does? Somehow we have to connect through activity and so much group activity. To me it is so intimidating. I know there is somethings really wrong with me. I wish church was coming to a place where you could say “I’m beat, I’m tired” but it has always overwhelmed me with the personality competition aspect. If you say you are hurting you are treated as if you are different… but aren’t we all equal in that we aren’t perfect? I’ve been to a lot of different churches they are all so similar in this. I recently spoke to a counselor and was having trouble explaining myself because I think I was overwhelmed at the thought of trying to. He kept asking if it was something specific, but honestly, the rolodex of specifics in my mind was blowing around like a tornado. I smiled and said I was sorry to be so disorganized and unable to communicate. He started reacting to me as if I was still trying to accept christ in my heart. He even questioned me about that. I felt embarrassed. It isn’t Christ its you I don’t accept or trust, I thought to myself. As a believer it is hard to seek help… you want to be help for others. I think of my father who passed away a couple years ago who ran into a homeless family. (himself not much better off). Instead of giving the man something; my father asked him if he had anything he wanted to sell. My dad bought a knife from him. For some reason that stands out in relation to these things to me. Can’t seem to summarize why but maybe someone else can do it better.

My marriage is adding to my lonliness and isolation. I feel like a butterfly under a glass. Yet I feel closer to God than I have ever been. I know the answers to these strange things happening around me is Him alone. My own family lives very separated by distance (not necessarily by heart). I am the youngest of 8. My family is far from ideal but love has been a deep and mysterious thing, nothing to “show” for it though. My husbands parents live close. My husband is their only child. They have a mold all prepared for me, and my marriage seems like I was joined to them along with my husband. To them it just seems to make sense that now I’m “their” daughter. My children are “theirs”. What do I possibly have to show otherwise? To them these things are just true. It would seem I have been given into their hands. It’s like if a tree falls and no one is there does it really happen? I feel like the tree. Even if no one else sees or hears, God does. I feel like a helpless spectator to destructive behavior all around. I don’t know how to handle my father in law’s whims of direction and unasked guidance on parenting toward me. I never imagined such a family existed. I never thought I could be so trapped. I’m not fooled into thinking this is what plugging in and having roots is all about. more than ever my roots are in Christ alone. My home is in heaven. My life is in God. I love them all but I can’t fix anything. Or can I?? I feel inadequate in every way at times. Especially as a mother. I just keep trying to seek God on how to raise my child the way he should go and look for the unexpected so I wont miss it when it comes.I need God desperately and I try not to worry that indeed he is not angry, punishing, or slaying me. I am alive because in spite of the damage all around I know he LOVES me. There is a reason I am where I am. I’m waiting and its hard to understand what God means for me to do with all this, but soak it all in. If I don’t know; I just keep praying.

I read my bible more than ever. I rely on Him for everything so much more than I ever realized. We can’t do anything by ourselves. ANYTHING. I have come to know myself as a worm; completely reliant. There is no history, no relationship, no knowlege, no genuineness, no kindness, no roots, no hope without His providence of it. I can’t make a way for myself. What can I do but wait and learn patience. I’m afraid of being a grumbling desert wanderer. I am afraid to reach out and get a pat on the head or a question of my faith. I feel like a plane in an indefinite holding pattern. God is my controller. He loves me, he loves me. He loves me. Over. :-)

]]> By: Hephzibah610 http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-6717 Hephzibah610 Mon, 06 Apr 2009 06:23:28 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-6717 This has been one of the darker seasons of my life. As one person was stating in another post, the world itself seems so dark with the things that are going on around us...but more than that, as a parent I am assaulted on all sides. More, my children are assaulted and I feel so helpless to protect them from the dark forces that desire to consume them and take them down. Perversion is everywhere and I read articles to tell me how to protect my child...but it comes at us from every venue. You only allow certain programs in your home only to be assaulted by the commercials. You receive flyers in the mail with advertising resembling what used to be termed "soft-core" porn. The computer brought blessings and curses as it prematurely introduced our son to porn in his own Christian school. How does one stay "up" when attacked from all sides? You cry out to God and wonder if he is listening... Lord, I believe, help me overcome unbelief...save us LORD from the evil of the day. Protect YOUR people, LORD! This has been one of the darker seasons of my life. As one person was stating in another post, the world itself seems so dark with the things that are going on around us…but more than that, as a parent I am assaulted on all sides. More, my children are assaulted and I feel so helpless to protect them from the dark forces that desire to consume them and take them down. Perversion is everywhere and I read articles to tell me how to protect my child…but it comes at us from every venue. You only allow certain programs in your home only to be assaulted by the commercials. You receive flyers in the mail with advertising resembling what used to be termed “soft-core” porn. The computer brought blessings and curses as it prematurely introduced our son to porn in his own Christian school.

How does one stay “up” when attacked from all sides? You cry out to God and wonder if he is listening…

Lord, I believe, help me overcome unbelief…save us LORD from the evil of the day. Protect YOUR people, LORD!

]]> By: Mart De Haan http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-5925 Mart De Haan Fri, 06 Mar 2009 09:31:56 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-5925 Thank you all for telling your stories and for caring for one another. Thank you all for telling your stories and for caring for one another.

]]> By: daisymarygoldr http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-5924 daisymarygoldr Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:54:41 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-5924 Laurielee, I greatly enjoy reading your posts. There is an honesty about you that is very rare in this day and age… you literally put your heart out in your comments and you are right, we are all fashioned uniquely. My previous posts are proof enough that I’m no angel or nun and I’m certainly not a diamond:)…but Thank you! for helping me see that it is OK to be odd… mtman, you are such a precious gem… your love for the wild is so amazing. Thanks again for your words of wisdom! Keep posting… Laurielee, I greatly enjoy reading your posts. There is an honesty about you that is very rare in this day and age… you literally put your heart out in your comments and you are right, we are all fashioned uniquely. My previous posts are proof enough that I’m no angel or nun and I’m certainly not a diamond:)…but Thank you! for helping me see that it is OK to be odd…

mtman, you are such a precious gem… your love for the wild is so amazing. Thanks again for your words of wisdom! Keep posting…

]]> By: mtman http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-5923 mtman Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:28:46 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-5923 Daisymarygoldr: You are not odd at all. You are a blessing and if that takes odd then so be it because you are a true blessing to this Christian family. If it came down to odd then I would be singled out too. I mean how much odder does it get than myself, my wife and our three dogs living remotely in the mountains, having a wood stove for heat, 264" on average snow a year, a 6 gal. how water heater for warm water, talking to the wild animals, having the birds come and get me when they are out of food. Most folks consider us either nuts or very odd. If my lifestyle or odd behavior can reach out to anyone in the name of our Lord, their comments won't hurt my feelings at all. I know I'm odd and that to habitate with wild animals that could harm you is not normal. I figure I stand a better chance with the wild animals than crossing a Walmart parking lot. I consider my oddness a blessing not a curse. God Bless you and my heary did skip a beat when I saw you back. You enrich me with your postings. Also, living remote like we do when I'm out working outside and talking out loud to the Lord, I feel really near to him and I have it on very good authority that he doesn't consider my lifestyle odd. God Bless Daisymarygoldr: You are not odd at all. You are a blessing and if that takes odd then so be it because you are a true blessing to this Christian family. If it came down to odd then I would be singled out too. I mean how much odder does it get than myself, my wife and our three dogs living remotely in the mountains, having a wood stove for heat, 264″ on average snow a year, a 6 gal. how water heater for warm water, talking to the wild animals, having the birds come and get me when they are out of food. Most folks consider us either nuts or very odd. If my lifestyle or odd behavior can reach out to anyone in the name of our Lord, their comments won’t hurt my feelings at all. I know I’m odd and that to habitate with wild animals that could harm you is not normal. I figure I stand a better chance with the wild animals than crossing a Walmart parking lot. I consider my oddness a blessing not a curse. God Bless you and my heary did skip a beat when I saw you back. You enrich me with your postings. Also, living remote like we do when I’m out working outside and talking out loud to the Lord, I feel really near to him and I have it on very good authority that he doesn’t consider my lifestyle odd. God Bless

]]> By: paulnotPaul http://www.beenthinking.org/2009/03/04/feeling-down/#comment-5922 paulnotPaul Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:55:25 +0000 http://www.beenthinking.org/?p=4388#comment-5922 Ruthi- I have worked for Christ-based businesses and non-profits and was just as disallusioned by the lies and bad examples of those that run those businesses as have for completely worldly places of work. I think we sometimes set our expectations so high that no one but Jesus would be able to keep to them. I have found out though that as long as I harbor unforgiveness and dislike for these people I am only hurting myself. I do find it impossiblt to stay angry with or sometimes hate others if I am praying for them. It does me a world of good to pray for those I hate or dislike for their actions. It also soes some good for them. I don't ask God to change them but just to bless them in His own way. Before long I find they have changed. But funny, it is mnot that they have changed but my view of them has changed by looking at them through God's eyes!! I hope this helps!!!!! Ruthi- I have worked for Christ-based businesses and non-profits and was just as disallusioned by the lies and bad examples of those that run those businesses as have for completely worldly places of work. I think we sometimes set our expectations so high that no one but Jesus would be able to keep to them. I have found out though that as long as I harbor unforgiveness and dislike for these people I am only hurting myself. I do find it impossiblt to stay angry with or sometimes hate others if I am praying for them. It does me a world of good to pray for those I hate or dislike for their actions. It also soes some good for them. I don’t ask God to change them but just to bless them in His own way. Before long I find they have changed. But funny, it is mnot that they have changed but my view of them has changed by looking at them through God’s eyes!! I hope this helps!!!!!

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