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Sit down with me as we think through some tough topics in a reflective way and examine some of the difficult issues that can trouble followers of Christ. My hope is that you’ll always come away with more to think about… RBC Ministries
2010 and Counting
Posted by Mart De Haan
January 1st, 2010
Filed in Jesus
75 Comments »
A television journalist makes a point of saying on each of his programs how many days it has been since a previous president declared the war over in Iraq.
Today…with the arrival of 2010… our world knowingly or unknowingly calls attention to the number of years since the King of kings quietly entered our world for the purpose of winning the deciding battle of the War of all wars.
Whether Jesus was born in December or not, it seems appropriate that our calendar turns a few days after–whenever we recognize his entrance into our world…
What matters now… is whether we are “counting on” what he has already done for us…
In some ways the Apostle Paul may have been showing us how to “count” like this when he wrote, “But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain... [i.e. personally experience the One who won the War for all who trust Him] (Philip 3:7-8)…
May whatever we are given in 2010 be full of Him… in us… for the most joyful kind of new year… and for our own statement to all who will have occasion to see how we are counting…
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Well Mart, I am not quite sure exactly what sort of counting you are talking about here. There is no doubt that we are on the final countdown to the return of Jesus as triumphant king in Jerusalem.
Like Steve said in the previous topic, we know exactly how many days the great tribulation wil be, 2 x 3.5 years = 7 and can almost count the days between events, but like Steve said, Jesus is coming like a thief in the night for His Church, so this may be the event that triggers the end times.
Now if you are talking about counting on what Jesus has already done, then it is a done deal as they say.
IT IS FINISHED!, was His cry. The work of salvation was complete. We are now free of sin and able to become the sons of God because of His death and resurrection . I know this year I have to study the bible and get as much of the word into me as I can. Something big is about to happen, both for me and the world and I know I have to be ready. He wants us to lay down our lives for Him so that He can give us abundant life in Him.
I am counting on Him and all that he has promised to help me live my life for His will and purpose.
Happy New Year to you all!
Bob
Yes, I see life as sacramental as in one way or another both pointing us to the grace of God in Jesus and being a means of experiencing that grace. But the key for us is to begin to see life that way, I think.
But it is wisdom to count our days as the psalm of Moses says in Psalm 90, so that we might present to God a heart of wisdom. And I guess the older I get the more one has to think about the passing of time and just what that means.
Thanks, Mart.
2010 and counting….A birthday comment. As we continue on counting.
I am struck sometimes by the concept of age. My grandparents were born in the 1800′s, in 4 more years my parents 100th birth years will occur (they are deceased). My mother in law who is 91 and I speak every day about how many changes have occured in her lifetime.
Yet all of this pales when we think about eternity.
Jesus had quite an eye opening conversation with some Bible experts about life after death. Luke 16:19 and Matt 22:23.
In Luke Jesus talks about a paradise and a place of torment.
In Matthew Jesus talks about the spirit being continuing to live on after death.
Both call attention to the fact that after the death of the body, conscious awareness lives on.
With no more counting…this existance is for ever.
As many of us have stated before, this one fact causes us to want to live on forever with God….not without Him.
The greatest relief for me is that God made a way for me and all thoes I hold dear to be with Him forever. Not through anything I can do but through all that He has done, for me.
A gift I only needed to accept. A gift He will not take back. The gift of forgiveness and salvation through Jesus of Nazareth. Forever.
Thank you Mart for another year on the Blog. This gift you have given me has been a wonderful experiance for me. I hope you have the strength to continue. I will try to keep up.
Happy New Year to all, I do hope that this year brings to each of you the perfect answers to your prayers. Blessings from God that overflow.
Steve
PS, congradulations to you Daisy on the blessing of being pregnant and able to bring to God another soul.
A Blessed and joy-filled Happy New Year 2010 to you Mart and fellow bloggers and readers everywhere!
When thinking about Paul’s counting, I’m reminded each day that I count on Jesus for every breath, every need (physical and emotional), and every ounce of strength. I count on him for his unfailing grace when I stumble and fail. I count on him for his forgiveness of my sinful human nature that needs his daily touch, and for his abundant grace to forgive others. I count on his abiding and unconditional love for me more than any other relationship, and I ask his help to be a channel of that love to others.
As I rely upon Jesus, I pray he will change my heart to be more like him…to forgive and extend grace willingly and to show love to those that need to experience love the most.
May the blessing of Christ-centered changed lives and changed hearts be upon each of us this New Year Lord Jesus.
I’m also thankful for a warm home and furnaces that work…wind chills of -40 below zero today in the Midwest. Just takes your breath away….Brrrrrr
Steve, last night on into the wee hours, I was perusing RBC under Our Daily Bread and began reading about this very topic that Jesus spoke about…Heaven and Hell. I have questions that were brought to my mind about the rich man in hell and Lazarus the beggar in heaven but I will ask it somewhere else…I suppose.
I have cried my way into the new year and woke up with those same tears…asking God to bring me to some kind of reconciliation about my son’s death. I want joy to return and look forward with hope that it will be restored in some way in the coming year. I asked God to guide me in my understanding of all that I read and hear…to guard me against those things that will confuse and frustrate me. After praying I opened my emails and in my Grief Share devotion was this:
Joy Can Return
Day 14
It does get better; you will experience joy again.
In her book A Passage Through Grief, Barbara Baumgardner writes, “They told me one day I would go twenty-four hours without thinking of my loss. I told them they were crazy.
“They weren’t crazy; they were right. At first, I felt guilt, then elation.”1
God is the source of your hope and joy. Believe these words of Jesus in John 16: “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy” (v. 20).
Jesus continued: “A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
“So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (vv. 21-22).
Lord, I cannot even remember what joy feels like, but I believe that someday You will turn my grief to joy, and no one will take that joy away from me. Amen.
These are words from my mighty, loving, Lord who will not allow me to succumb to this terrible pain for long. I find hope in this New Year and I will always be counting on His Word, His love, His grace, His peace
and His presence at RBC ….and I thank God for Mart and this blog and all my new found friends who will be patient with me as I perceive the Word as I have never known before.
I also anticipate His coming…I yearn for it like I always have. This world holds nothing for me…but I hope that I will rise up from these ashes and live a more fulfilling life according to His purpose and will in my life until the trumpet sounds!
The part about birth makes me think that I forgot to congratulate Daisy…I’m sorry Daisy but when reading your post about your upcoming birth, I was reading it as a metaphor…due to my poetic mind…and so I wasn’t quite sure you were really expecting…sorry…Congratulations to you!
kingsdaughter –
You say this world holds nothing for you, but I don’t think so. I do think you hold something for it – no – I know you do because you’ve already given something to me. I have hope with the benefit of hindsight – I’m reminded by you that hope in the midst of pain is truly an awesome gift.
Stacy
Kingsdaughter, my heart goes out to you this day that you may lean upon Jesus. Many tears are often shed during the holidays for the loss of loved ones. I heard Joyce Meyer’s say this morning that “frustration happens when I try to make something happen that I want to happen or to get rid of something that is happening.” I cannot take away the pain of your loss, nor can I speed up the healing process for you. I only know that God’s healing is available to each of us. He knows you by name, Dale, and he’s big enough to walk through this with you. Grieving is a very personal and individual process and everyone doesn’t go through it the same way. It takes patience. Sometimes it is just getting through one moment at a time.
May I suggest a valuable Christian resource? The book is “Recovering from Losses in Life” by H. Norman Wright. I found it to be a great comfort and I pray you will too.
God sees your tears, and I believe he is crying with you too, Dale. He loves and cares for you…you are his precious daughter. May you feel the warmth of his breath upon your face and his healing presence today in a profound and special way. You are loved…
Hisgirl4life, Glad you are able to be warm in this icy blast of winter.
I admit to getting depressed somewhat after weeks of gray skies and snow. Oh what joy the sight of the sun can bring..The weather forcast here is for snow and cold for the next 7 days.
Dale, I have seen an interesting picture graph of all of the “story” of man. On it there are two places a soul goes after death. Either to Paradise, or a place of torment. These two places are what Jesus mentions concerning Lazarus and the rich man. It is intrieging to hear that one can be seen of the other.
Paradise is the place where all souls who are covered by the blood of Christ and the grace of God go and await the resurection and rapture of the Church.
The place of torment is a place where all the souls go who have rejected Christ and salvation. They are there awaiting the second resurection and judgement.
It is always to be remembered that, it is God Himself that will judge them. Not we people, but God.
Only after the judgement are thoes lost souls thrown into the lake of fire along with Satan the dragon and all of his followers. Hell.
But the blood of Christ, covers all who accept Him as their savior. We belong to Him and nothing in heaven nor earth nor anywhere can seperate us from the love of God.
Your son may lose out on blessings God intended for him here. But he is not going to lose his salvation. He is still covered by the blood of Christ, and all the benifits that go along with it.
Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
Steve
Regarding forgiveness: I am struggling with how to forgive and forget or move on about a situation.
My brother passed away in March 2006 and I became the sole caregiver for our mother as my brother and I had shared this responsibility until he suddenly passed away with a massive heart attack.
Mother came to live with my husband and me and the latter part of March, she fell again (she had had numerous falls and hospitalizations.
When she fell the last time, she suffered a traumatic brain injury and a broken shoulder. She was admitted to a local hospital and did well until the second day, when the hospital doctor placed her on a medication (Haldol) which we did not know was given until later. Mother then became very irrational and then could not communicate or feed herself. She eventually began to get better and could talk. We had her transferred to a Transitional Care Center for therapy.
She did not respond to therapy very well as the doctor there (without our knowledge) gave her a medication that sedated her so much she could not respond to therapy. (I was her Power of Attorney for Health Care and the Durable Power of Attorney).
One afternoon she was given insulin long before mealtime and not monitored and her glucose dropped to 28 and she went into seizures and evidently suffered a stroke as she could not speak or feed herself after that. (She had regained her ability to speak and feed herself when she was moved to the Transitional Care Center from the hospital).
She was eventually moved to the nursing home part of the facility. She was treated very badly. I tried to find another facility to move her to, but there wasn’t one any better in the area where we live. I spoke with ombudsman, lawyer and staff at Nursing Home, but noone did anything.
My Mom lived at this Nursing Home for almost 3 years and on Feb. 16, 2009, around 2 p.m. a nurse suctioned Mom and suctioned chunks out of her tongue and evidently suctioned something up into her windpipe or lungs. Her blood pressure was dropping, heart rate was elevated, oxygen level dropped. When we arrived that afternoon around 4:00 p.m (I visited her everyday and spoon fed her as she could not feed herself), she was struggling to breath after the suctioning. Noone had notified us regarding this. They refused at first to let me have her transferred to the hospital. Eventually they agreed, and she was transported to a local hospital, where the ER physician found she had been suctioned too deeply, her mouth had blood all in it, she had a urinary tract infection, Sepsis, dehydration, pneumonia, high glucose level and was kept on oxygen adn given several meds and admitted. She never did respond to any of the meds, struggling so hard to breath. She suffocated (as stated by one of the hospital staff). She passed away Feb. 21, 2009 at 9 p.m.
I am still struggling with guilt for having placed her in this nursing home, although my health was not good enough to take care of her and lift her, etc. I am struggling with anger toward the staff and especially the nurse who suctioned her.
(Also, all during her stay in this nursing home, she had skin tears, bruises, and infections due to mistreatment.) I have albums of photos of her during this time which I showed to attorneys, and noone would go up against this nursing home and help Mom.
Also, my mother was on a low dose long term antibiotic to help control the urinary tract infections, but I had worried this was what was causing so much confusion. But one day, my husband went to the nursing home and asked the Nurse Practitioner to stop the antibiotic. The NP did. My husband did not discuss this with me or tell me what he had done. My mother’s health started to decline and the infections got worse and it seemed no antibiotic would eliminate the infection. My husband told me about the removal of the low dose antibiotic in July (he had it stopped in May), but by then no antibiotic would help. She went down hill from then until February.
I am having a hard time forgiving my husband for what he did without telling me.
I feel the nursing home staff killed my mother by neglect and abuse. How do I deal with this? It’s killing me not them.
Wow Missy69 that is a heavy load to bare. I do not feel any of us could give you the answers to your tough questions. I can see the torment in your soul and mind. It would probably benefit you to seek some type of help more than what we are able to offer. We can however pray for you and know that some of us understand what you are going through. The forgiving thing is also a process. Part of the grieving is anger and it directs itself all over sometimes even unjustly but it is part of the grieving. Lord, I pray for Missy69 that she find comfort and peace in your arms and know that you are aware of all she is going through. Please give her rest and help her trust in you to work through all these problems. Please help her to forgive as you have forgiven us. I know Lord that you are weeping with her in this time and although we may not be able to see in hand today we know that your heart is at work in her life. Thank you Father for the answer to this prayer in the name of Jesus I pray. Amen!
This last decade has been very eventful, a lot of changes. I do find it wonderful that our Gregorian calendars use our Lord as it’s descriptors. Because of the change of A.D. to B.C.E. (Before Common Era) and B.C. to C.E. (Common Era) more countries have taken on this calendar. Take Christ out and more will accept it. So the use of Before Common/Christian Era and Common/Christian Era may change but we know that is still in our time the Day of the Lord.
So as Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14; No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us.
Missy,
I can tell you what I did to forgive both myself and others. I gave all my pain to God and prayed a whole lot. It wasn’t easy. What I did was, everytime I started to rehash the events – I said out loud – “God take these thoughts from me.” And then I prayed for the people who had harmed me and for Him to soften my heart to them. At first, I didn’t mean my prayer – truth was I really wanted God to smite them. I didn’t always manage to squash that prayer, at first. But, I persisted and eventually the prayer of forgiveness became sincere. I also read the Gospel of Matthew – over and over and over.
Matt 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
It’s been about 3 years since the end of that horrific time for me – and there are still times that I have to tell myself to be still and turn away from memories that haunt me. But, it is easier now.
The other thing I did was to reconcile that it was God’s will. Romans 8:28 was a comfort to me.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
I didn’t see how what happened to me could be for the good of those who loved Him – but I clung stubornly to that verse, it truly bolstered me. In the end, He blessed me by allowing me to see the good of it.
The other verse I found strength in:
Matt 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I pray you find peace.
thank you, Stacy…I can only hope to be able to offer something of value to someone in this world before it is too late.
HisGirl4life…I listened to Joyce this morning, too. Her messages always touch me and teach me. Her “bold personality” sets well with me and many others. I have been listening and recording all her messages on God’s grace. I need to rejuvenate myself on a daily basis. Thank you for your book recommendation. I will look for it.
Steve, thank you for your explanation. I was wondering it people on the Paradise side of the “gulf or divide” can see their loved ones in Hades? Because if they can that would be cruel. What purpose would there be in that? And also, about the rich man in Hades, he wanted to warn his brothers whom he seemed to think would probably descend to Hades, as well…my question is about Abraham’s response “they have Moses and the Prophets…” I am perplexed by His answer…Why didn’t he mention Christ?
Yes, I am so thankful to know…even though Satan tries to catch me off guard—that my son is in Heaven. The tragedy and the questions…have been toxic to me during this time. My grief gets in the way of clear thinking. Your encouragement is much appreciated as is everyone’s that I receive here.
Missy~ I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and how it came about. As for forgiveness…I know there is some debate on that issue, not about whether to forgive but if a person repents..(Luke 17:3). Jesus says if the person says “I repent” then we should forgive him. Some people think that if the offender never repents that we don’t have to forgive…but then again in Col. 3:13 “…Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” In my own circumstance it has been hard to forgive my son’s wife and best friend for the part they have played in his death…(either by his own hand or theirs) either way, I know they were instrumental for much grief in my son’s life. I have had to forgive them…right now, it is a sentence, a phrase..not a feeling. I cannot draw upon my feelings right now. I just have to speak it. They have not come forth to ask forgiveness and I never expect them to but I have a forgiving heart. It is the only way I can live with myself so that I do not allow my feelings to get in the way …to harden my heart or hold a grudge. My loss has overwhelmed me more than my feelings for these people. Even though I blame them I will never know for certain the WHYS of all that has happened.
In your situation, I believe others should be warned about this nursing home. It is not revenge..it is a duty. No one should have to suffer as your mother did. You would hopefully be preventing more of the same to other families by exposing this nursing home. I would think the media would love this human interest story even if you cannot find a lawyer who will take your case. You have the ER physicians professional judgment as to what caused her death…that is proof enough in my humble opinion. Why you can’t get a lawyer is strange..they are usually right behind the ambulance.
Because the nursing home will never come to you and admit their part in this…it is up to you to forgive in your heart so it won’t kill you. So you can continue to do the public a service and expose their negligence. I wish you well and hope that you can overcome the unforgiveness. God bless you as you enter this new year without your mother.
In Christ,
Dale
Dale, It appears from the conversation, that the people in torment can see over into paradise, but Jesus never mentioned that thoes in Paradise could see over into that awful place. Thoes in torment it seems are able to see paradise as part of their torment. Just my thoughts on the matter.
When the rich man wanted to warn his (still living) brothers of that awful place. He was told that even if one returned from the dead and warned them, they would not believe. Refering of course to the rejection, death and resurection of Jesus.
When he was told that they had Moses and the prophets, the reference there is that they have the Law and the prophets have told them of the coming Messiah. It is up to them to *see* and *understand* and *accept* what the scriptures have told them, concerning how to stay out of that awful place. Again my thoughts on the matter.
Steve
Dale –
You already have given someone something of value in this world! Don’t you doubt that for a minute. I would imagine you’ve given value in ways you don’t even realize. There is value in letting someone infront of you in line at the store, there is value in an offhand comment to a stranger. I’ve been on the recieving end of these things and I’m telling you that being valuable in this world doesn’t mean doing BIG things. Wow, how like the Lord to show me a truth I’ve been missing like this. I’ve been guilty of finding myself of little value. I’ve been guilty of being envious of those who get to do the BIG things for Him. I guess the point He wants me (us, maybe?) to remember is He finds value in us, who are we to argue with Him?
As for the forgiveness thing, on the cross, Jesus asked for forgiveness for people who didn’t ask to be forgiven
Luke 23:34 Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing
I think there are times in our lives when it is right for us to give forgiveness to those that don’t ask it.
Stacy
Missy69, You have a lot to forgive. But only through the miracle supernatural power of Christ is it possible to.
By forgiving you are set free.
The awful circumstances of your mothers last years and death will not be forgotten by you but the anger and pain of the memory can be.
I don’t know what state you live in, or even if you live in the USA, but most every government has a licensing board that licenses and regulates nursing homes. If you haven’t already, put your information into a document that you can present to their attention.
You also may be able to take the matter to the Attorney General of your paticular state. There may be criminal offenses that they can investigate and prosecute.
Unless an attorney thinks they have a chance at getting money they are not going to help you.
You might find in the process of writing letters and trying to get attention from the authorities about the abuse, that the anger and anxiety may go away.
Once the anger subsides, forgiveness can come.
Missy, every morning I ask God for a long list of things. One of them is for Him to take care of thoes who have offended me. To deal with them in His perfect way. Not my will but His be done…
He is faithful, healing for you will come. Of that you can be assured.
I too will be praying for you.
Steve
Dearest Missy69
WHAT CAN I SAY……your story mimics mine EXACTLY, with the exception that those nightmareish incidents are still continuing to happen to BOTH my elderly parents who live in a nursing home. Just a month ago, in what should have been a simple routine blood work (type/cross/match)for a blood transfusion my mom needed, and through a series of incompetent, unprofessional and neglectful “mistakes”, ended in mom being Coded Blue. Her memory and brain function have markedly been diminished as a result of the lack of oxygen to her brain. I have NEVER felt such overwhelming anger, bitterness and hate as I have this past two years (the time they entered the nursing home). I have, in fact, a documented 25 page journal that I began just a year ago outlining some of the atrocities that have taken place. The latest incident prompted me to make a copy of it and mail it to my government respresentative. He phoned me just before Christmas to say that he was appalled by what I wrote and that he was personally going to forward it on to the Minister responsible for long term care here in Ontario. I am doubtful that anything much will be done, but anything is better than nothing and even though it may not help mom and dad through what could be a long drawn out process, then it will hopefully be a small change for someone else’s mom and dad. There are times that I think I can know what it must have been like for David battling Goliath. The system we place our precious and wonderful loved ones in is so seriously flawed, that only the Lord’s intervention will help. I pray every time I walk through the doors for Him to go before me.
It IS only God’s love and grace that keeps me going and His teaching me to purge those unhealthy cancerous feelings. Missy, I so wish that I were close enough to you that I could hold, hug and cry with you. Immerse yourself in God’s word. Lay your burdens at His feet then Trust Him as He works in and for you. He so loves you and knows what you are feeling. May His comfort surround you and His strength uphold you, and burn Romans 8:28 in your heart (which is what I have had to do).
Your sister in Christ
Pat
Happy New Year to all! Its 2010 and stilling counting. (I just hope I dont lose my place.) Im so happy to read about Daisy’s soon to be addition to her family.
Though we lost my mother in law last year and missed her terribly, we are comforted by the notion that she is dancing her feet (wings?) off in Heaven.
Even as a healthcare professional, I know that in spite of medical advances, God ultimately controls our life spans … not us.
Not too long ago, I lost a colleague to breast cancer. Her husband is a medical doctor. I went to her funeral. At the funeral there were dozens of doctors there yet I thought to myself, not one of them could stop her demise. God can quickly end the most healthy lives and He can bring anyone back to life. He is in charge.
Im hoping and praying that this year lives up to its “name” and be a “10″ for all of us. Of course, the challenge is for me to keep “counting” be a “10″ in His name.
rokdude, lol, still counting and not losing your place. At times it helps to lose one’s place.
I beenthinking about how when one gets older we sort of lose our fascination with life. Sort of like when one has been married for sometime some of the excitement wears off. I think it happens with our walk with the Lord too. Through a series of disappointments our faith begins to lose it’s excitement of when we first accepted Christ. We get hurt, then depressed and then angry. If one doesn’t keep a clean slate things begin to build up and push out the excitement of our salvation. Wouldn’t it be nice which I totally believe God will do, to have that compassion of our first love brought back. The excitement of a child as we look to God to provide and care for us.
The excitement of a child because everything is new and adventurous. Wouldn’t it be marvelous as we mature in faith that the excitement not disappear but remain fresh and not look at the bad things that may happen but to look to all the positive things God does in our lives when we depend fully on Him. Just some thoughts. It would be nice to keep those things that do not necessarily seem positive to us but to realize with an abandonment of control the things we can see to faith in what we can not and trust that our God will bring the best out for us.
Good thoughts Pooh!
Seems like I don’t have very much excitement in life anymore…I am feeling very old and lifeless. Seems these days I just go through the motions, not that I don’t mean what I say or do, but it just isn’t done with that carefree child-like excitement. I can’t remember that last time I found something that made me ‘REALLY’ laugh. I sat here last night and was sad to realize that I really couldn’t post anything that was hopeful. I sat here to look for something to be hopeful for; for some encouragement so to speak.
Thank you, Pooh, twice now….the first, for the encouragement and conviction to read through the entire Bible (again). What great advice for a first new day of a brand new year!! Because the Bible, in my opinion, is the other most greatest gift to us; His first being of course his only begotten Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. The treasures and gems that can be unearthed by doing that is priceless in our walk with Him.
Reading and meditating on His word will most certainly bring your second post to life. As I polish and examine and begin to live those missed treasures and gems, I will then surely find a new and adventurous excitement that is sorely lacking in my outlook. I will then sing the chorus I learned as a small child with renewed pleasure….
I have the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart,
Down in my heart, down in my heart,
I have the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart,
Down in my heart to stay.
Hello folks
This is my first time doing anything like this so I hope you will excuse any mistakes I will make while learning.
On this first day of a new year I went online to read our Daily Bread and found all of you.
If I may I would like to speak to Missy 69, I had much the same thing happen to my mother, I was very angry but through prayer I found a way to cope with the situation by using Corinthians 13. I found folks in the nursing home that were good and loving people.
I am thankful to them for the good care and love they gave mother. One of the gals that was most kind was a house keeper. I found out that she spent a lot of spare time just being a good friend to mom. The situation was bad but God put good people with her to offset the few who were not so good. It would be great if we could change the system but it has been broken for a long time ,perhaps we can make it happen in this new year.
Thanks everyone for an inspiring afternoon.
kingsdaughter I have been following your post about the loss of your son and from experience I know there are no words I can say to bring comfort to you. I lost my daughter when she was 33 and I can’t find words to express the hurt I felt. I was blessed in I knew enough to hold on to God or rather let Him hold on to me. It took time but God has given me peace about her but not the way I expected. I don’t know for sure if she was saved as only God can see the heart but I do know God is just and there is great peace in that knowing. I was blessed in that He let me share my life with her. The healing time for me has been long but in the journey I have grown closer to God and He has given me a much deeper understanding of Himself. Our family speaks of my daughter often and we remember all the good she brought into our lives. The healing does come and I am so thankful for the memories now. God is good and healing will come. I wanted you to know we care.
Well I am well into day two of 2010 and still counting :-)
I have just read the last 24 hours of posts and am amazed by what many of you have gone through in the past few years.
Missy69 ….. My heart goes out to you. I understand fully how you feel as I felt so guilty when both my parrents died, although the circumstances were nothing like you experienced.
I have worked in Mobility Equipment Servicing for the past five years and have been to many Nursing Homes here in Cornwall, some are excellent and some are terrible, just leaving people sadated in front of a TV and letting them sit for hours without attending to there physical needs.
I understand the anger you feel and the greif at both the loss of your brother and mother.
You would have felt the same if you had kept her at home as you would always wondered if she could have had better care in hospital or a care home.
It is not your fault, the system let you down! It costs £500 – £800 ($1000 +) a week here to place someone in a home and it is big business.
When Dale, Pat, Steve and Pooh suggested you take action I was a little concerned, but as I am typing here, I feel it would be good for you to prepare a document and put all that has happened in writting, it will release the anger and help with the grief and will be a positive way of chaneling your feelings and if someone takes it up, may be an instrument for good, preventing this happening to others.
I will be praying for you!
Don’t condemn your husband, you need to stand together and support each other. He thought he was doing the right thing, as your mother was suffering so much it must have been too hard to bare.
I wish I had some wonderful Scripture that would put it all right for you, but there is only one person who really knows the answer, Jesus! Take every thought and every feeling to Him and He will slowly work you through it all.
Bob
Dale
I know how much you greive and how you feel about your son etc.
But I want to thank you for all your entries on this site.
Even though you may think you are failing in some way by feeling anger or unforgiveness, by sharing on here you are actually a blessing, to me at any rate.
You are able to learn and understand and question scripture in a way I find difficult.
I have gained so much by just “knowing” you and ask God’s Blessing on you and your Family.
Bob :-)
In the New American Standard Bible, Romans 6:10+11 is translated like this: ” For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” In the King James version, the word consider is translated as “reckon” and Schofield’s notes explain that this means “to count on”. In this new year, this is the counting that I hope to do.
Welcome Susie1,
Pat, I am glad to see you post as I had been seeing the bad weather you have had up there in the *Great White North* and worried that you may have been without power.
7 additional inches of snow last night with more on the way today. It is 9 degrees (F) and it won’t get much higher than that today.
Pooh you are right, the older one gets the wiser one usualy gets. The reality of things, have had a longer time to sink in. And life loses its luster.
I always like the enthusiasum of young people. They dare to take chances and challenge excepted ways of doing things. In this way we are able to break through beariers and create new things.
If you look at art, it tends to reflect the society we live in. When I was a child, science fiction imagined a world with space travel to planets and flying cars, automatic kitchens and every convienence at our disposal.
But if you look at science fiction now, it is all dark. No bright future for mankind. An Appocoliptic horror.
This is sad. It shows the youth, they have nothing to look foreward to. Which may be why we see so many kids killing other kids in the classroom. They have no hope.
What have we the Church done wrong to not show the youth that there is always…Hope?
Our great Hope lay in our faith and trust in Jesus Christ….The only one anyone can truly *count* on.
Steve
I don’t think it is the Church. At the risk of sound very trite – I think it is that we live in a fallen world. Unfortunately, there’s only so much the church can do for children growing up with parents that don’t beleive. On the bright side, I know many Christians that grew up like that.
As a mom of 4 children ranging from 14 to 2 years – I fight this all the time. With God’s help and the church, we’re mostly successful – and they have the added burden of losing thier dad two years ago.
Missy69 & phpatato and anyone else-Care facilities are licensed by governmental agencies. Please go to them and file a report. If you are in the U.S. there is a “Better Business Bureau” to file a report/complaint. Also, all care individuals (nurses, doctors) are licensed. File a report/complaint through the agency that issues the license. Sometimes there’s fault, sometimes re-training or certification applies. Not enough attention is given to the elderly about their bone density. They don’t fall and break a hip, etc. The thin bones break as they get up. Make sure your loved ones records reflect the PREVENTIVE care for this.
I cared for my mom at home two years after her disabling stroke. I went through the “care” facility nightmares for about a week when that “still small voice” said it was unacceptable. In our state we got a little bit of in-home care through a social service agency (the medicare system). I learned how to do what they do-the way my mom needed it done (like suctioning).
When I talk to God or pray, I have had to teach myself to stop and listen. I used a timer in the beginning, then I didn’t need one. Waiting on God is the answer for me-making sure I’m “tuned-in” for the response.
I lost a lot of myself during that time, but God gave me the gift of experiencing what “caring” and love means in His terms. I spent a lot of hours sitting in a recliner reading the Bible out loud to Mom. I learned what love in marriage means, watching & helping my Dad through Mom’s end of life on this earth.
That time was chaotic for me: full-time working with developmentally disabled, went to school for nursing (never finished) and cared for my son, cars breaking down, never enough money…I don’t know how I got through all that, but God was with me-I can look back and see that now…
…when Mom had the “first” stroke, she was on the toilet. My Dad called me while I was at work-2 hrs away-I worked in aerospace then. I came home and found her there, eyes fluttering. Had Dad call the paramedics just before I got there-they couldn’t figure how to get her out of the bathroom (stretcher didn’t fit and her over-weight). I ordered them aside and got an office chair with wheels-we slid her on it and out the house to a stretcher. I’m sure my dad was scared. Later my sister would come to the house and try to feed Mom and Mom would choke (and sis smoke in the house) I forbid the smoking inside and wouldn’t let her feed-I wasn’t nice about it either…another episode at the emergency room, my sister yelling about not being notified-I loudly told her off-she left…weeks later came and collected all the gold silverware, etc in the house, Dad let her-I never saw her again, by then I didn’t care…God was there with me for and through what really counts…He is with you too-y’all get tuned in.
Lots of resources on the RBC website for your questions too.
Love,
Loretta
Thanks Steve for your concern. We did have several mini power failures during the freezing rain. Tree branches are littering yards everywhere, which will become back breaking work come spring. I have a large lot and have seen myself run over smaller ones with the lawnmower hoping to “mulch” them up. :-) I often wonder how you are doing with your snow plowing. I had asked in an earlier post if you find yourself perplexed as to where to pile it next.
I enjoy reading everyone’s posts. I am so Blessed to have found this site. You all are treasures in my life and I thank God for each one of you. Congratulations Daisy. I’m so happy for you.
Thanks Mart for allowing me to sit beside your fire. I always leave thinking about more.
Missy69, although I am slow to offer advice because I do not know the whole situation but I know in the State of Arizona and many other states they have an elder abuse hot line just like they have a child abuse hot line. You just type it into the search bar and it will give you the results. I have used it here in Arizona and they quickly go and check it out. It is done anonymously and they will let you know the results. It may prevent another from suffering the abuse and your mother’s death will not be in vain.
phpatato, thank you for the note. Sometimes as we get older our wisdom turns around into a hard heart but God can make it pliable again. This will be my 17th year of reading through the bible and I am still learning because the more I learn the more I see I have to learn. God’s wisdom is so big, so big, words will never be able to describe it. I still do not have a clue that is what the adventure is. Enjoy the journey. Love Deb
Mart, I just want to thank you and RBC Ministries for just allowing us to be ourselves on this blog.
So many times we go off topic, but it is because we care for the people who have just spilled out their soul to the world.
I wish we could have a private chat forum away from public view where we could realy talk serious stuff to one another.
I feel this place is getting us prepared for the last days.
Bob
Bob
I was thinking along the same lines, but I do see pitfalls with the idea. Although, I’d dearly love to discuss some things in depth and ask questions that I don’t want “the world” to see.
I found *here* researching starting my own website/blog and one of the questions I asked myself was, do I want a forum. I decided the pitfalls weren’t worth the benefits. A public forum is a real task to moderate and private one may take away from comments on the blog. The actual list was a bit longer than that, but those were my top two concerns.
As an at home mom with 4 children, three that have afterschool activites, living in the middle of nowhere 30 minutes from my church, if the traffic is good (usually takes a hour to get home)- I’ve been longing for a place like this.
Thanks all for your comments. Pooh, thanks for your advice to start reading the bible.
To be honoust, my first reaction was: no way, too weary, too strenuous!
And I am still in fighting with myself.
But the fight that came up in my mind did wake me up! What is happening here?
Maybe I should just start in reading. I already have a reading plan since half a year.
But to go back what Mart brought up. Paul was counting, he counted all things he had loss, he called it a loss for the sake of Christ.
And all things, he meant everything he was before Christ called him. He had a high place in his “church”.
Phil 3:8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found by Him, not having righteousness from my own that conmes from the law,
but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that dcomes from God and is by faith.
That is what I would like to say with Paul, count all things loss, things that you lost, but for that you found Christ.
foreverblessed
I have just started downloading a free talking bible to my mp3 player and this last week alone have listened to the four Gospels and am starting on Acts etc. this week. I have a three hour part time job cleaning in the early morning and find it quite inspirational. Sometimes I hear things and have to look them up when I get home.
I can’t remember the reference but we are supposed to hear the word of God, and be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Believe me it does work!
Thank you Steve, Pat, Granny, Bob…and all who continuously keep me encouraged. Yes, Pat…I am blessed to have found this site, too. I must say that I have been all over RBC and am eager to discover other treasures here. Last night I found Day of Discovery and my husband and I both watched the video “When God Takes The Most Important Thing”…It was about two families both of whom have lost not one but three of their children. The parents’ hope-filled message was powerful and inspirational. I am so thankful for the many facets of this ministry.
Yes, Bob…I have thought the same thing about a questions forum. I know this site covers a whole lot of area but when questions come up as they are prone to do, I hesitate to ask it for fear of going off topic. I try to tie it in to the topic at hand..whatever I am asking. A free-for-all forum would be nice…maybe it’s here and I just haven’t discovered it yet. God bless us everyone!
Bob in Cornwall it is Romans 12:2
It’s 0 degrees (F) here this morning and I feel blessed considering we are much *warmer* than our friends in the upper Mid West and may I include our neighbors to the north.
Yes Pat it is getting more difficult to find places to pile up the snow….Maybe a January thaw.
No matter, Whoever you are and where ever you are, I hope you are safe, comfortable and secure.
Long winter days and nights are an excellent opportunity for some to be able to spend time with the Lord. Both in the scripture and in prayer and worship.
As Frank likes to say…Hugs to all
Steve
foreverblessed, It is time consuming to develop any relationship especially an intimate relationship. We have to be open to listening to God and to learn about Him. It is up to everyone exactly how much of you, you want to give to God. No one can do that for anyone.
Because of the 3″ of new snow I went to a church in town this a.m. Around the S.S. table 4 of the 7 folks had read the ODB this morning. We laughed as we recognized a story the pastor told as being one out of it this week.
Thanks for reminding me to start through the Bible again this year Poohpity, the ODB schedule is an easy one to follow, and I check it off as I finish each one.
Had to call the furnace man yesterday, and thanks to the LORD everything was Ok. This is not the kind of weather to have problems. It was hovering around 0 all day yesterday. Must’ve warmed up to 10 or 12 today, those are F. degrees. I am so thankful for a warm place to be, and all of His blessings.
May all of you have a Blessed New Year.
Sometimes I feel like an eavesdropper on a party line (does anyone else remember those days?) but I so enjoy all the scripture and inspiration and camaraderie on this blog. I am trying to figure out a way to work the current topic into this comment. Aha! As I was beginning to read through the Bible again yesterday (ok, a day late already) my furnace emitted a strange noise and funny burning smell. I was multitasking: praying, calling hubby, calling furnace man and making a list of important stuff to take if I had to get out.
Ended up shooing the grandkids out,and with an overnight bag,left the rest as it was. And truly it was counted “loss”. Nothing I couldn’t live without if I had to. So today I am just thanking God for heat and comfort at this time of year. For His many blessings that He has just seen fit to let me enjoy for a season. The love of Jesus is the one thing I can take with me wherever I go, HE will never leave me or forsake me.
afranz, I remember the party lines. My family was part of a six-party line, and all six parties were indignant about someone else listening in, and claimed that they would never do such a thing. As a ten or twelve year old, I would sometimes listen to two teenagers who were dating, but all I got to hear was Beatle songs. Glad your furnace is OK; I spent the weekend keeping a path shoveled to my woodpile during our blizzard. It’s 33 degrees here today, but I know the single digits will be coming. One good thing about snow: it makes great insulation against the cold.
2:00 AM here and I have a bad cold. I am just awake reflecting on the day and wondering what Monday will bring.
We had a good sermon/talk today at church about the snake bites and the snake on the pole in the wilderness that Moses raised up.
We are all bitten by the snake of the evil one and need to look at the cross for healing. In fact we must repent of our wrong/sin and look to the cross continually.
That means we must not look at the snakes/problems around us but keep our attention focussed on Jesus at all times.
Not an easy task!
I am down to my last £300 or so and need to get a fulltime job soon. I have to make a phone call in the morning and hope it will lead to something good.
God keeps reassuring me that He has a wonderful plan for me and that I will be amazed at what He is about to do. I must keep looking, not glancing, but looking at that pole/cross and to Jesus who gives us everything we could ever want or need.
Deuteronomy 31:7-8 (The Message)
7-8 Then Moses summoned Joshua. He said to him with all Israel watching, “Be strong. Take courage. You will enter the land with this people, this land that God promised their ancestors that he’d give them. You will make them the proud possessors of it. God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.”
I guess I need to confess how I feel to my brothers as part of my walk with Him.
Only 5C here and no wind so very warm compared to most of you.
Bob
Funnily enough, our teaching this morning was in 2 Cor – not yoking yourself to unbelievers. Your comment about confessing to your brothers just reinforces that for me. What a relief it is to be with those (even via the internet) that have the same commitment to the Lord. There is a bond that binds us all, though we’ve never met – a bond with virtual strangers that I dare say is stronger than I have with some people I’ve known almost my whole life. How awesome is that? (an over used phrase, but the truth, none the less)
Bitterly cold here, 20F with stiff winds, wind chills around 0. Going to be warmer tomorrow – up to 29! Whoo Hoo! lol Snow on Friday – most snow we’ve had around here since they started keeping track of that sort of thing. Would it be wrong to pray the Lord send us somewhere warm, with a beach? :-) Actually, I love where we live and try to remember to thank Him every day for putting us here – but the beach does have its appeal on days like today.
Bob and Lively…I am here in sunny Florida (not rubbing it in) and we are in the low 20′s….burrrr….
Bob, I pray the Lord works a miracle in the job situation. We know all too well about that kind of thing here. My husband’s profession was hit hard by the mortgage crisis…he is a land surveyor. Now jobs are coming in rather scattered and slowly but they haven’t completely stopped, thank the Lord. My husband also has physical problems and can no longer do the job he has done all of his life. We pray for a miracle.
Lively, I have been thinking about the group here, as well. I have not been going to church since my son died almost 10 mos. ago. Hymns and sermons all make me cry so I just don’t go anymore. This is my church right here at RBC. We are the church. I have felt such a bond with these folks and I have learned so much, too. In the blur of grief, some things seem so convoluted and the people here have helped tremendously. I am also glad to have found the other interesting articles and videos at RBC.
God bless you.
I Guess we can count on each other in 2010 as well as Scripture and the Holy Spirit.
To loose oneself in Messiah must be the answer to everything, Pual seemed to thing so.
Thanks Dale for mentioning the Videos again, I must investigate what RBC Ministries have to offer here. It is a wonderful resorce and I thank God for the people who run it every day.
I am glad we are warmer up here than North Florida :-)
Lively, I live on the beach and love it even in the winter storms. I think it doesn’t matter where you live as Jesus is everywhere and as long as we look to Him all the time we will be content,(at Peace).
To “count all things loss for Christ” is a good challenge for 2010!
Loss of our cherished possessions like our: health, house, job, success, esteemed career, money, spouse, children, family, friends… that are taken away from us by force or by circumstance causes suffering and sorrow.
On the other hand Paul counted all those good things as loss for Christ by choice… with joy! Jesus clearly said “…any of you who does not forsake (renounce, surrender claim to, give up, say good-bye to) all that he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:33
Who then in his/her right mind can willingly forsake or give up everything for the sake of Christ?
It is those who have found that the value of Christ surpasses everything else and it is those who understand that it is only through loss of our all… we can gain Christ. Just like the man who found “a treasure hidden in a field…and from joy over it goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field” (Matt 13:44)
To ‘gain’ means to ‘know’ as in—”knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” “That I might know him.” It is one thing to know ‘about’ Christ but it is something else to know Him personally and intimately.
Again, to know Christ is not to gain secret knowledge of Him through some special mystical revelation but it is to know Him just as He is revealed in the scriptures.
When I gain Christ to know Him through the scriptures then I do have an answer for everything. I know exactly “when, what and how God is working in my life” and that is how I remain “joyful” even amidst losses and sufferings!
So, in 2010 to joyfully “count all things loss for Christ” by choice… is easier said than done because it calls for:
1. A commitment that is born out of the knowledge that I am bought for a price. I am His purchased possession… I am no longer my own.
2. An obedience that demands…. the total surrender of my life to God—to present myself as a living sacrifice… holy and acceptable to God (Rom 12:1).
This reminds me of one of my favorite hymns by Isaac Watts:
“When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.”!
A very big Thank You to Hisgirl4life, poohpity, Steve, kingsdaughter and phpatato!
I’m curious – do you (everyone reading/commenting on this blog) talk to God? I don’t mean pray, I mean talk. I mean kid around with him, share your thoughts out loud kind of chit chat. I do, and I am curious who else does as well.
Stacey, All the time. I don’t kid around with Him but I am in constant communication with Him from the time I get awake untill I am asleep. Sometimes I even wake in the night and talk with Him.
I have heard Him speak on only a few occasions. But I have heard Him speak.
Steve
Hi Lively/Stacey
I am constantly talking to God, both in thought and out loud. Paul said “pray continually”
Like Steve I wake up in the night and God is there in my head and I say my deepest thoughts and fears to Him.
I am not sure what you mean by “kid around with Him”, but I know we are made in His image and just as we have a sense of humour, I know God does, and He often makes me smile and sometimes laugh out loud.
Jesus is our Lord and King and, when the need is great, I pray to Him earnestly on my knees, but He also called us friends, and like most friends, we often just sit and chat about life’s little things.
Bob
We can only come to Father as Sons and Daughters because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. Because of His shed blood He restored our relationship with God so that, just like Adam & Eve, we can chat with Him in the cool of the evening, walking side by side.
Thank You Jesus!
I am only just begining to realise exactly what you have done for me. Sorry it has taken so long.
Stacey, yes I do talk to God all through the day but it is not chit chat stuff for me since I have some real pressing issues at this time in my life. Lately, it has been outbursts of anger and outpouring sorrow followed by a lot of repentance. And it seems unending. It seems my communication is constant..if not by spoken words then by this heart feeling that never leaves, as well as, deep thoughts. Even before tragedy I had daily talks with God that would just pop out…not positioned knee bending prayers but the kind of talks you have with God.
dale
Communication is a two part process. Most have the talking part down but the other part is listening. After we talk do we give time to listen? Are we two busy to quite ourselves and hear from God? Are we talking so much that God can not get a word in edge wise? One can usually look at how we communicate with others to find out which one we do more of. Are we good at listening or do we do most of the talking? Do we want the attention by talking and do we respect others by listening? God speaks when we are willing to listen.
Good morning Everyone!!
The sun is peeking through clouds today!!!!! It’s hazy but it’s there, but the forecast calls for additonal snow till Wed. We have had snow and blowing snow now since New Years Eve day. There is a snow drift on my back deck that is almost 5 ft tall. It has been hovering around the one degree (F) mark (-17c) or lower with the wind. I will man the shovel later this morning to gain access to the bbq and to remove the tremendous weight on the deck. It still isn’t as near as bad as what you have Steve.
When you find that beach Lively, let me know ok? lol
I talk to Him all the time too. During the day I just “talk” to Him, but in the time I have set aside as my devotions, it is with respect that I pray.
Bob in Cornwall, I have said a prayer for you and your circumstances. God loves you and will supply all that you have need of. Luke 12:22-34 Take courage!
Someone earlier (I scrolled back and failed to find who, sorry) said to “be still and Listen”. Thank you for those words. Too often in our noisy world, we fail to do that.
That great song that Tennessee Ernie Ford sang “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” is in my mind. Blessings to you all today.
Pat
In the reading today it is so funny that during the time of the tower of Babel they spent so much time talking that God confused their language. I wonder if it was not to get them to listen more. Just beenthinking.
Pooh, you had posted as I was typing. Funny that we both touched on the “listening” part? Seems to me that the word for today is Listen.
Lord help me to listen more for I am guilty of talking too much. Amen.
phpatato, Amen!! Me too! It is sometimes a hard lesson to learn but after you learn although not perfectly it really grows one’s intimacy with God.
Steve and Dale – I hope I got the names right.
It is my understanding of the words -(and please excuse that I do not have the address at this time, but I will get it,) “Wherefore he saith, “WHEN HE ASCENDED UP ON HIGH, HE LED CAPTIVITY CAPTIVE, AND GAVE GIFTS UNTO MEN. (Now that HE ASCENDED, what is it but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth? He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things.)Eph.4:8-10 (found the address) and further more Paul’s statement that “to be absent from the body, is to be present with the LORD,” – are meant to let us know that paradise is empty of the saints and Jesus has taken them to Heaven where He sits on the right hand of the Father. Paradise was for those who were waiting on the coming Messiah and now there is no need for it – as to be present with Him is to be in Heaven. I may be wrong, but that is my understanding.
Those on the other side of the gulf can still see what they have missed, and that sight is only a small taste of what they have truly missed.
My hope for this year is that we, as the Christian community, will be stong in the faith and stand for the Word of the Lord as the time is drawing near for His return. We need to reach as many souls for Him as we can, for when He takes us out of here – it is going to be so hard on those ‘left behind’
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL and here’s to a truly blessed 2010
Perhaps “kid around” was the wrong choice of words :-) More along the lines taking only the serious things to him, but the more of the light hearted joys – and especially if I see humor in His work. Surely, he must laugh at us as we laugh at our own children.
This morning, I laughed at my 2 ½ year old son. He was playing with the dog’s tail and I told him to stop, he persisted so I gave him a “time out” warning. He persisted and I said, “Time out” and pointed to the steps. He laughed, and said, “Okay” and cheerfully went to sit on the steps. Then he said, “Daddy, look I in timeout” with a smile a mile wide.
If we take such delight in our children, how much joy and delight must He take in us! Especially when we’re doing His will.
I wrote this before you posted, Bob!
It is hard to listen sometimes with the world making so much noise, but I do my best to pay attention! And I pause in my conversation – sometimes I do get my answer then – though not often.
And, warm beaches only! I found it, sadly – it’s not for me! lol Good thing, I’d make the ultimate beach bum – I’m naturally lazy :-)
kingsdaughter – take a look at Job. He was pretty upset with the Lord, too. After I read it with opened eyes, I wondered why we say, “the patience” of Job. Persistance and faith he had, but patience – I’m not so convinced of. Reading him helped me. I do pray that you find comfort and peace.
I can’t believe it’s supposed to be 16° here in Ocala, Fl tomorrow night!!!!! And even colder than that in the Forest (about 20 miles north – where I live). Man…
Not sure about this??? I may have to stay home from work. lol…..
Also…about talking to God all the time. Oh yeah! No doubt. Also…sometimes I totally laugh at what He says to me. He is funny too. Why not? He created us and aren’t we funny sometimes?
I believe he gave us ALL things to enjoy. If we have an attitude of trust in All things then we are able to enjoy All things. Humor is right on top. I think sometimes we tend to take life to seriously and miss the wonder of it all.
There are times when I am certian He’s laughing at something I say – I’m filled with absolute joy.
Our church was cancelled yesterday due to the inclement weather, so I had ‘church’ with a television pastor. . .his topic had to do with prayer/talking with the Lord. A convicting statement he made had to do with ‘listening’ to the Lord, and not just praying. He asked if Christians would many times talk to the Lord, but not LISTEN to what he had to say, being still and quiet in His presence. In this noisy world, quiet should be treasured. It’s difficult to have quiet sometimes. This may be out of context,but Ps.46 (i think) says, “Be STILL and know that I am God”.
Daisy, congratulations on your new little one. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Thanks to all of you for sharing your honest thoughts here. Thanks to Mart for his hard work and continuting this wonderful site.
One more thought, it’s SUCH a blessing that we can remember that this world is not all that there is. . . our Father is preparing a place for us. Even so, come, Lord Jesus! Perhaps this will be that year.
Daisy, congratulations with your baby coming!
I read your comment and did not get it, not even about the pickles. It was Steve who first noticed it, good for you Steve, a man!
About Job, it is because James says Job and patience, and after talking about Job here for a bit longer, I can now see why Job is commended for his patience, seeing that he had a great calamity over him, he lost all his children, and we have here Kingsdaughter, who has lost one, and how difficult that is. He lost all of them, and all his work, his jobs so to speak in modern terms, he still had his house and his wife. And yet he did not curse God. Steve talked about Job, Steve what did you say?
He did not have a clear vision of God though, he thought he obeyed God, and yet had difficulties, and thought of it as unfair. He more thought in the line of: I do something, so God does something for me. Conditional.
While God loves us even while we were sinners.
That is a miracle, and how do I get back to the topic, count all things loss for gaining Christ? I think it is just that what Job learned. When he would not have been patient he would not have learned it yet.
Perhaps then, I don’t understand Job. A quick outline of how I understand the (middle part) of the Book of Job.
Job 29 and 30 – In 29 he is bemoaning what he has lost, in the first part of 30 he speaks of how far he has fallen. Then he shows his anger that he has been afflicted while sinners lived well.
Job 30:11 Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted me, they throw off restraint in my presence.
Job 30:20-21 “I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me. 21 You turn on me ruthlessly; with the might of your hand you attack me.
In Job 31 he argues his case that he is a righteous man. After that, the youngest of the men gets angry at Job for justifying himself instead of justifying God. Plus, he is upset with the other men because they judged Job without cause. I’m very partial to Job 36 and 37 when Elihu “ascribes justice to his maker.”
Elihu says in Job 37:14-16 “Listen to this, Job;
stop and consider God’s wonders.
15 Do you know how God controls the clouds
and makes his lightning flash?
16 Do you know how the clouds hang poised,
those wonders of him who is perfect in knowledge?
Then, the Lord answers Job and Job is humbled,
Job 42:6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes
I know James said patience – in every translation I have checked – but Job did get angry. I think that’s my point. Job was patient in that he never turned his back or cursed God, but he did blame Him. That’s the lesson that I took from Job, that God forgave Job his anger. He blessed him two fold in his later life and He made it clear to Job’s friends they were wrong – and to ice the cake, it was Job’s prayer that saved them from their “folly” as God honored Job’s prayer for them.
But, as I said – perhaps I’m wrong.
And, congrats Daisy! THere’s little else that is as wonderous as bringing a new life into the world!
I think it has to do with who is sitting on the throne of your heart. God tested Abraham although he waited a life time to have a son that was promised then God asked Abraham to offer that child as a sacrifice to God it was to see exactly where Abraham’s heart was. Job was around the same time as Abraham. Job realized that everything He had came from God and if God wanted to take it away so be it. So every blessing in our life comes from God even our spiritual gifts so to have everything in the world and not have Christ what is it worth. Our faith is even a gift from God so that we do not take credit for anything but in All things we give thanks to God.
Although Job did not realize that it was satan that took everything away God did indeed allow it. Job was not impatient with God but he was with his friends who were to offer comfort but instead offered things that they had no clue about. Silence and just being there would have benefited Job more than their vain philosophies but Job endured.
Having an intimate relationship with the Lord is more important than anything else in the world. So I think it means to really look who has top priority in one’s life. Is it really Jesus or is there something else we can not live without.
I love my JESUS but I love my son…he was a gift to me, a wonderful person, my own flesh and blood, I gave birth to him and nurtured him and took on his spiritual training as a Christian mother who trusted God with his well-being. I felt my prayers went unheard or unanswered in the time of my son’s most desperate moments. I would have saved him. I would have stopped the bullet myself. And yes, I did blame God because I don’t pray to Satan..I pray to GOD the ALMIGHTY. It is He who had the power to keep my son from dying. If he did kill himself…then why would God allow us to suffer this most horrendous of ordeals…so that I can prove my faith? I DO identify with Job. I was a good girl(not perfect)..I believe in Jesus… I pray for my family…I even pray for my enemies..whoever that is…and yes, I say again…I do identify with Job. I love Jesus but to live without my son has been heartbreaking each and every minute…all the unanswered questions…thinking of the heartache my son must have been in…missing his voice, his laughter, his very presence….and yes, everything that I have comes from God and He has taken back his child…my son…and as a mother, I can’t seem to untie myself from this noble position…as a human being with deep emotions and love for my children…I find it impossible to live joyously while enduring the death of my child…that most precious of gifts from God. I am most certainly not an Abraham…this I know…but who is? As for Job’s friends…I also have had to endure the very same treatment. I am enduring with every breath…I have to live without my son and I had no say in the matter. People who have never been in this position can’t possibly know the degree of loss..every intricate detail…the hopes I had for my child..the gnawing pain of suicide and theology…the intensity of guilt is all consuming…suicide is the most painful of deaths for those left behind. Yes, I identify with Job…but did the cops tell him his children killed themselves?
kingsdaughter, I do not feel that anyone of us expects anyone to live joyously when they have suffered the great loss that you have. I do not believe Job was feeling joyful in the depth of his loss either and I do not feel that God felt joyful when Jesus died the way he did either.
You are grieving the loss of your son no one expects anything but sorrow from you. I think it is wonderful that you are able to put your feelings out there and talk about it. The more you express yourself the more healing you will receive. You have every right to be angry and any other emotions you are going through there are some that can empathize with you and some who can not but no one else is feeling what you alone are feeling because they are not you. To hide or deny those feelings would be a lie and to be honest about the open wounds you are experiencing is a blessing for us because you trust us enough to share. You are hurting right now and thank you for sharing those hurts with us. Grieving sometimes is a long process so give yourself plenty of time and be patient.
Amen Pooh! You are awesome Dale.
Dale/kingsdaughter –
I’ve not lost anyone to suicide, but I do know what it is like to lose children. Mine were still alive, and yet they were lost to me and it wasn’t from anything I did – well that isn’t entirely true. It happened because I married a man who later in our lives became cruel and abusive. I decided to leave before the verbal abuse and shoving became hitting. What I didn’t realize was the depth of his illness. Too late, I found out that his purpose was psychological war and he intended to “drive me to the insane asylum” that’s a direct quote from a person who refused to testify on my behalf in court. I was married to a true sociopath.
In the end, I did get my children back and my ex did see the saving grace of our Lord. Ironically, he became again the man I loved and married 15 years before and then the Lord took him home.
I didn’t get my children back until he died. Yeah, you bet I felt guilt about that. Especially since at one point in time, I prayed for his death. And, before I turned back to God, I even fantasized on ways I could kill him myself.
You said that suicide is the most painful of deaths for those left behind, I have to respectfully disagree with you. I watched my father, he was a strong robust man full of life, waste away for a year before cancer finally did his body in. Had the doctors found the cancer six months earlier, it would have been treatable. If the doctors had followed up on a “shadow” on my ex’s liver when they saw it a full year before on an x-ray they could have extended his life by 5 or more years, maybe even have cured him. I do still torment myself about that – what if I had not left, what if I was still married to him when he had that x-ray – I would have insisted they follow up on it. Did the added stresses of the divorce and custody battle quicken the growth of the tumor? What’s worse, I knew he was sick before he knew himself, and I wasn’t even living with him. Had I been, I am certain I would have nagged out of concern for him to see the doc much sooner.
Also, I don’t hold the “traditional and worldly view” that suicide is an unpardonable sin. Apparently, this came about because Thomas Aquinas said it was the most fatal of sins because it can’t be repented. If that’s true, I figure we’re all in deep trouble, because I am fairly certain that I’m not going to have an opportunity to repent all my sins just prior to my own death. One stray evil thought just before death is enough to keep you out of heaven, based on that logic. And, there is opportunity in the Bible for God to have made it clear that suicide was “unpardonable” there are 6 stories of suicide in the Bible. Sampson, Saul and Judas are three of them and none of them were condemned specifically for suicide in the stories. Yet, God clearly condemns other sins, such as harming children.
I don’t want to sound harsh, or unfeeling – but I strongly feel that suicide is death the same as cancer, a car accident or whatever form it takes. Ultimately, you could have done nothing to stop it because it was God’s will – just as I could do nothing, even if I had stayed in marriage, to stop my ex’s death. I can no more answer honestly to why God chose to take a 42 year old father of three girls than why He took your son. I’m not sure why He’s allowed my husband now to be afflicted with an incurable kidney disease, or the fear that my 2 ½ year old son has it as well. I’ve lived with that specter since before my son was born, at one point they told me that in all likelihood the best outcome would be a kidney transplant before he was 1, if he survived that long. I was only 4 months pregnant when he was “diagnosed”. They saw the beginnings of the disease because I miscarried his twin, but at birth it was miraculously gone. I’m not even sure why Job suffered, except that he serves as hope to those that are suffering. I still get angry and I know that my anger is at God, sometimes, it’s so hard to remember I don’t have that right.
There is a reason, and a purpose. I know that sounds so lacking, so superficial, and had I not had my own suffering I’d have no business saying it – I’ve never told anyone that I prayed for my ex’s death, but without me admitting my sin to you, I’d have no standing. You have to trust Him, that there was no other answer and I know how hard that is and I am praying that you find a way through this.
I’m sorry this is so long.
Stacy
Stacey..thank you for sharing your pain and suffering, as well. I know I am not alone in the world…I am not a martyr for suffering and regret…but I think you missed my point or rather I did not make it plain about those of us left behind when there is a suicide. Someone who chooses to die for whatever the reason leaves a suffering lot in his/her wake. The unanswered questions about the role that I and others may have played, all the normal questions asked by others who have lost loved ones for whatever reason can’t and do not match the ones asked who are left behind in a suicide situation.
I have known other death, too. So I do have the right to compare my own griefs…not other people’s griefs. I was close to my mother-in-law, my grandmother and my father died unexpectedly in my presence…I speak as only a mother can when I try to convey the depth of this loss to suicide. I am in no way comparing your loss to mine…I am comparing my loss to other losses I have known. Your own sufferings cannot possibly be compared to another person’s, this I know.
Thank you for your prayers. I ask God to bless all those who on this blog have unimaginable sufferings past and present. It shapes our lives, hopefully for the good.
Thank you Deb, for the encouragement. All who are here are a special presence in my life.
Lively,
I know that God has a sense of humor. God is all things good and humor certainly is good…even therapeutic.