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Abandonment

In a biography of Apple founder Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson explores the question of whether the corporate genius ever got over the fact that he was given up at birth by his biological parents.

Isaacson quotes co-workers and friends who believe Steve Jobs struggled with a lifelong fear of abandonment. They recall not only his strong desire to be in complete control of what he was producing but also his tendency to run over those who got in his way. One who felt used and thrown away by Jobs notes that those who have been abandoned tend to be abandoners.

The biographer, however, went on to say that Jobs denied the explanation and defended the parents who adopted him. He quotes Steve Jobs as saying that the only parents he ever knew always made him feel special.

Ironically, part of Jobs’ legacy is a corporate logo that symbolizes not only the knowledge of the world but also a human story of relational loss and separation anxiety. Lifted from the pages of the Bible, an apple with a bite out of it is an allusion not only to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, but also to the root issues of abandonment.

According to Genesis, we all have origins in a story that goes beyond parental wrongs to edgy questions of whether the God who made us can be counted on when we have not been faithful to Him.

Consider, for instance, what we hear from the pen of Israel’s King David. On the one hand, he wrote, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me” (Psalm 27:10 NKJV). Here David expressed his confidence in a God who repeatedly assures His people that He will never leave or forsake them (Hebrews 13:5-6).

But there was another side to David’s trust in God that is worth thinking about. Just before expressing confidence that when left by his parents the Lord would not forsake him (Psalm 27:10), he prayed, “When You said, ‘Seek My face,’ my heart said to You, ‘Your face, Lord, I will seek.’ Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation” (Psalm 27:8-9 NKJV).

At this point in his prayer, David was expressing fear rather than confidence. But he was not contradicting himself. He knew that if God forsakes us, He does so to bring us to our senses, so that He can respond to our calls for help. That’s why David could go on to say, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me” (Psalm 27:10 NKJV).

David had learned firsthand that if we turn our backs on the Lord, He loves us too much to continue to give us the joy of His presence and the evidence of His favor. It was this kind of a good and faithful God that David had in mind when, toward the end of his life, he said to his son Solomon, “If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever” (1 Chronicles 28:9 NKJV).

David had learned by experience how much damage he could do by forsaking the Lord. In his adultery with Bathsheba, followed by his conspiracy to kill her husband, he discovered the irreversible harm that we can do to others when we turn our back on God.

Solomon unfortunately didn’t learn from his father’s mistakes. He too pursued destructive sexual relationships and then, to please his many wives, built altars to their pagan gods on the hills surrounding Jerusalem (1 Kings 11:9-14). Turning his back on God, he lost the kingdom entrusted to him.

Both David and Solomon found out what it means to lose the joy of God’s presence and favor. Yet both also lived long enough to discover that, as far as God was from their sin, He was as close to them as a broken, remorseful heart (Psalm 30:5; 51:12; Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

Only by the rest of the story, however, do we see how God could offer such mercy while at the same time remaining true to the highest standards of justice. Centuries later, another Son of David showed the lengths to which God would go to not forsake His children. Nothing speaks more to our fear of abandonment than to hear what was happening when Jesus cried out in the moment of His own suffering and death: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46 NKJV).

How could we find any greater confidence in God? Where could we find any better reason to love one another than in Jesus’ willingness to endure the separation we deserve—to bring us to Himself and to make His Father our Father, forever?

Father in heaven, as You have given us in Your Son the assurance that You will never leave or forsake us, please help us to love one another, as You have loved us.—Mart DeHaan


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49 Responses to “Abandonment”

  1. InHisHands says:

    Had a flitting thought as I read – the abandonment in the garden was due to our abandoning Him, He is, and has always remained faithful to care for His creation, ‘man’, yet we tend to stray away and then claim to have been abandoned.

  2. His Sparrow says:

    Abandonment…

    The keyword weapon Satan uses to turn us from God. It is shown through the Adam, Eve and the “Apple” history. Satan manipulated them to doubt God.

    My observation is that the bloggers who come (and sometimes go) from here have been seduced by Satan to believe God has abandoned them. It can be read in the sarcasm in their writings.

    They are wounded and broken hearted.

    They can’t attack the Lord themselves, so they attack His people (saved and unsaved) with words often being more damaging (and effective) than a punch.

    It is very sad to read because they can’t separate themselves from the chains of deception. They need the “tough love” of the Lord and us.

    Sometimes “abandonment” can be how God separates us from our sin or protects us when we can’t or won’t do it ourselves. This may read harsh, but it has been truth in many of my experiences and observations as well as Bible history.

    Someone close to me went to jail twice for different things. I told him later, that since he couldn’t separate himself from his sin, the Lord cut the chains for him and put him in a “safe” place—safer than where he was headed. Today he is doing well.

    I too, have turned my back on the Lord -too much -and experienced what I perceived as “abandonment” (…feeling like the criminal and not the victim during a trial). But it took that kind of “separation” for me to be broken enough to trust God and not the noisy chatter of the enemy, the world and my self.

    He props me up where I am, (like Steve’s WV rain beaten plants); and lets me grow and mature where I sprouted, (even if it’s not what I would have chosen for my place in the garden) and I experience the wonder of joy in helping others (ok, that makes me birdseed :)

    Everything that Jesus experienced here on earth, as a human, reassures or proves to me that He knows how and what I feel and He is my true love.

    I love Jesus ‘cause He first loved me-knowing it would cost Him everything,
    His Sparrow

  3. satscout says:

    I also find it interesting that Steve Jobs turned his back on God when he could not reconcile the idea of what kind of God would allow evil in the world… either he never read Job or rejected its conclusion. The Apple logo was a direct result of his experiences on an apple farm, tied to the Eastern mysticism/spiritual enlightenment journey that shaped his outlook on life. He actually spent years eating nothing but fruit. How ironic that in his attempts to purge himself of anything that would hurt his body, he turned a blind eye to the One who could heal his spirit.

  4. SFDBWV says:

    I am a little confused, it appears Mart has spread out the monthly BTA topic as “Abandonment”, but the BTA thread remains under the topic “The Work that Consumes us”.

    Since comments to either show up in the most recent comment list to the left of either subject, it appears to either ignore one or try to train my thoughts on two subjects.

    I had an Aunt and Uncle who used to make my head spin every time they would visit. Both would talk at the same time on totally different subjects and I would set across from them nodding my head and grunting uh-uh shifting my glance and eyes between the two of them and never really hear either as a result.

    So I feel the same way with having two topics to discuss, so I guess I will set out for a while or until I am led to say something concrete to contribute to the threads of either.

    Steve

  5. Bob in Cornwall England says:

    Hi Steve,
    I have a sister and brother in law that do the same.
    They both talk at the same time holding separate conversations with different people and both can swap backwards and forwards between themes without even taking a breath.
    Incredible to watch but mi what a headache one gets.

    Bob

  6. confeticat says:

    I’m more confused than Steve is, I don’t even know what a ‘thread’ is, but to add to the bio of Steve Jobs, he ate regularly in a cafe owned by his real father and neither of them knew the other until his sister told them. His father said he was a good tipper. He had not abandoned his son, Steve’s parents were separtated and his mother had put him up for adoption.

    Kind of reminds me of the relationship many have with their heavenly Father. They go to his “cafe” every week and leave a good tip in the collection plate but have no communication whatever. They don’t know that he loves them and has not abandoned them.

  7. remarutho says:

    Good Morning Mart and Friends —

    This is certainly, as you say Steve, a broader topic than the other choice for comment! The way we as believers in and followers of Jesus Chris, must decide day by day what the work of the cross is doing — what it means.

    His Sparrow, you wrote:

    “He props me up where I am, (like Steve’s WV rain beaten plants); and lets me grow and mature where I sprouted, (even if it’s not what I would have chosen for my place in the garden) and I experience the wonder of joy in helping others (ok, that makes me birdseed :)”

    There is the truth of the cross! Not “truth for you being different than truth for me.” The truth is simply the truth.

    Jesus is the Good Shepherd in utter obedience to the Creator God, his Father. He says:

    “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away — and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    It seems to me we daily choose faith: to allow the gardener to put in a stake and tie us upright, to be birdseed in the garden, to be the log that burns to make a fire.

    Blessings,
    Maru

  8. remarutho says:

    Unfortunate typo — I meant Jesus Christ, of course. Sorry. Maru

  9. confeticat says:

    Where did “the truth for you being different than the truth for me” come from? The pit of hell no doubt. Truth is truth.

    Sometimes Jesus will let us think he has abandoned us, to test us. Case in point was when Lazarus died (John 11:14,15). Each time he disappears and later returns our trust in him gets stronger. Love that song, “He’ll Do It Again” – he used it to get me through some hard times.

    To be the birdseed, or the log, is to be consumed by him. But consumed by work? I don’t think he means for us to be consumed by work.

  10. judyreno says:

    I recently read the Steve Jobs biography and felt badly that such a talented man rejected Christ. I think we all feel abandoned at times.

  11. His Sparrow says:

    Amen remarutho!

    ,,,, confeticat really got to the truth on the weekly “cafe” (7:16 am pm)

  12. narrowpathseeker says:

    I’ve had many problems getting to and staying on this site. In the middle of writing or submitting I will get a window message that the page couldn’t be displayed and BTA disappears, but I can go to other sites with no problem, so I am submitting this note first for explanation of absence for recent days and possible continued absence.

  13. confeticat says:

    That’s an illunstration of what i was saying. Sometimes there is a good explanation for abandonment.

  14. confeticat says:

    But other times God really has to abandon people until they acknowledge him as Lord (Luke 13:34,35).

    When we don’t want to do what Jesus asks of us, we offer him a consolation prize. “Here Jesus, take this instead.” One of these is swooning over the cross. If what he did for us on the cross means something to us, we will want to please him (John 14:15).

  15. narrowpathseeker says:

    In recent weeks I experienced that “feeling” of abandonment as I went to the river and His Presence was not as strong and clear as I had grown accustomed to it BEING. Then He showed me He was there, but distanced from me. Over the weeks that followed, each time I thanked Him for His patience with me, there was a distant chirp of a bird or a very VERY brief siting of wildlife. Then FINALLY I got a very strong thought that I had grown FAR TOO dependent on His Patience….not doing my fair share or fully cooperating in the spiritual growth process with Him. He would deliver me from an angry spirit, false pride and jealousy and before the day was out I would take them back. I know that God hasn’t abandoned me, but has shown me what it would be like to be separated from Him. Also, what the lost must feel not knowing Him nor feeling His presence.

    It is POURING HERE in CT and I need to run down to the river and move some chairs to higher ground as I just noticed that the river is about to over flow…be back later if I am able to get back on here.

  16. confeticat says:

    Although truth is the same for everyone, Jesus does work differently with different people. He comes to you in the way he knows you will be looking for him.

    God had never spoken to me personally (goodness knows i wasn’t listening anyway!) but that was one of my excusess for not pursuing him farther. But when I repented and started pursuing him anyway, one morning i woke up and looked out the window and the limb of a tree in the distance formed the shape of a heart. i had never noticed it before. i lay there and wondered if it could be for me. Had just started reading the Psalms and was to the fourth Psalm that day. When I got up I read “Commune with your own heart on your bed and be still.” I was overwhelmed, and that was the beginning of many sightings like your bird. Many would call this coincidence, but that’s what Jesus means by coming to him as a child.

  17. chirojohn says:

    as was steve jobs, i was abandoned at birth and adopted out. God blessed me with wonderful new parents. I have never felt that “abandonment” nor do I abandon others. There but for the grace of God goes I! We all have our mix of weaknesses(sins)to battle in this world! jk

  18. confeticat says:

    But jk, we don’t have to live with the sin mix. Jesus has provided a way after we have repented to abide in him and be rid of sin (John 15:10)

  19. rascal45 says:

    Mr. De Haan,

    I find parts of your post on abandonment very troubling. Your equating adoption and abandonment as going hand in hand is at the least dishearten to hear!

    As the father of an adopted child I can tell you that he was (like the vast majority of adoptees) NOT abandon by his birth mother! In fact quite the opposite.
    Abandonment in the sense you portrayed is that of a birth parent who just gives up and walks away. While that may happen in some cases the vast majority of the time the complete opposite is true. The birth parent loves their child very much and wants the best for them. Realizing they cannot provide the proper home, love, and care that their child will need, the place them (not put them up) into adoption to give the child a hope at a better future. Knowing our son’s birth mom that is exactly what she did.

    I am also surprised that you use the term “parental wrongs” in the context of adoption!!! Name one thing the birth parent did “wrong” by wanting to give their child a better home than they could provide? Is it better they live with the birth parents in a drug house without ever knowing the Lord or Jesus? Is it better they don’t know where their next meal will come from or be in fear of violence everyday? I can’t actually find the right in that environment – only wrong. There is absolutely nothing “wrong” with adoption or the birth parents!!

    I admit that I don’t regularly read your messages, but this message appalled at the light in which you paint adoption!!! You have done a disservice to all birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees!! Take chirojohn’s perspective as an adopted child that he never felt abandon by his birth mother and in fact has been blessed by his true parents. Clearly they loved him and brought him to the Lord.

    I understand that the point of you message was that in all circumstances God is there for us if we are willing to come to and follow him (even when we think he is not with us) even when we feel abandon. It is something that needs to be said everyday in this world! That being said, it sure comes across (at least to me) that you are putting down adoption and the birth parents love for their child.

    I closing, none of us (with only the exception of Jesus) was born into to God’ family! He as “adopted” all believers as if we where his children. So I extremely thankful for my Father who has adopted me!!

  20. poohpity says:

    What spoke to be the most was, “Yet both also lived long enough to discover that, as far as God was from their sin, He was as close to them as a broken, remorseful heart (Psalm 30:5; 51:12; Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). How often do we justify our behavior or blame yet all throughout the OT God sought from us a spirit that recognized just exactly who we are compared to a Holy, Just God. To be aware and admit when we have messed up with a remorseful heart is what God seeks because only then can we comprehend what was done on the Calvary. Solomon and David knew that mercy. I know that mercy but in a world where so many things have become tolerated I think we forget who we will one stand before and to keep our list short by admitting daily our need for forgiveness shows where our heart is. 1 John 1:9,10

  21. poohpity says:

    In this life we will be abandoned by someone either physically or emotionally and feel left out in the cold with a broken heart. We can’t change what others have done to us but we can change what we do to others. Will we ever be prefect at it, no, but it is heart warming when someone admits when they have wronged us and I bet God feels that same way.

  22. phpatato says:

    Chirojohn

    You are so right…we all have our mix of weaknesses – sins – to battle in this world. If we don’t do battle with sin, then we are 6 ft under for the Bible says in several places that anyone alive and breathing…sins.

    Ecclesiates 7:20 NLT – Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.

    Psalm 143:2 NIV – Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you

    Proverbs 20:9 NIV – Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”?

    1John 1:8 NIV – if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.NIV

    Unfortunately, there are those among us who feel that once that Jesus saves them, they are forever then above sinning. Sadly, they foolishly play hide and seek with themselves with the intent of never wanting to find themselves for fear of what they’d find, or they duck in front of mirrors, too afraid to stop and actually “see” how dirty they’ve become throughout the course of the day with sin. Those are the people I feel sorry for. The old saying “None is so blind as he who WILL NOT see”, certainly applies to them.

    Of course, when you point them to the err of their thinking, they’ll deny that those verses even apply to them, listing several pathetic reasons why, and so life goes on.

    They are the ones who are truly lost and some… will never be found.

  23. Bob in Cornwall England says:

    Jewish tradition dictated that a persons feet were washed when they entered your home.
    This was to wash off the dust from the journey and it symbolises the daily cleansing we all need.
    Once the feet are cleaned then the whole body is deemed clean.
    rascal45,
    I agree with what you said to Mart about adoption as most people sometimes have little choice in the matter, but doubt Mart intended to denigrate parents who have their children adopted. I think he was just trying to give an example in Steve Jobs as to what the feeling of abandonment/rejection is and how it can effect peoples lives.
    Like he said, our greatest abandonment was when we abandoned God. He never let us go, just had no choice because of His Holiness and our sin to separate Himself from us.
    The rest is history, as they say!

    Bob

  24. narrowpathseeker says:

    Rascal, it seems that sometimes we can read something and understand it quite differently than it was intended. I don’t think Mart was equating abandonment with adoption, but having shared the load for years with my daughter doing foster care,and eventually adopting twin girls that we had in foster care from birth, I have to believe that each child’s case is uniquely different and that equation does fit sometimes.

    All adoptive or foster parents are not the “good guys” nor are all the biological parents the “bad guys”. I can remember holding a mother in my arms and sobbing with her as she came to see her boys for the last time after deciding they would be better off without her. But, I can remember one mother that got her child back after a year or so and I sobbed for the child for having to go back to this woman. I remember one child that was so bad by the time he was 7 yo old that he wasn’t allowed to ride the bus nor be in a classroom with other children. We were never told why, but when we found him clinging to my granddaughter’s back like a monkey as blood poured from her neck where he was stabbing her with a pen with great force, we KNEW why! It wasn’t the first time he had hurt(hit,bit,shoved) the children but it was the last straw. Out of safety concerns for our own children(my grandchildren), he was returned to the state immediately….so you might say we abandoned that child. I think there are many different sides to any given matter, and sometimes we are the good guys and sometimes we’re not. It is in that recognition that I say THANK YOU Christ Jesus.

  25. davids says:

    It is too bad that this is one of those stealth topics that occasionally turn up, because it is a rich subject. I have not read the Jobs bio, and have little interest.

    My mother died when I was a year old, and my military father asked his brother’s family to raise me. They raised me as their own and eventually adopted me. Like chirojohn I never felt abandoned, but rather felt fortunate that I had a very loving family.

    Abandonment and adoption are two completely different subjects that have unfortunately been mixed together. Some are abandonded by a parent while remaining in the home.

    I do not agree that the Father or the Son ever abandons us or makes us feel abandoned. The sun is always the same distance from the earth (metaphorically speaking, not physically). It is the earth that turns from the sun. We might sometimes feel abandoned to the dark when the cares of this world are heavy. But God always remains the same bright, loving presence, ready to welcome us.

    Perhaps my experience of adoption is very unusual since I knew my biological father (uncle), and could compare the two, but it has made me reflect on the incredible grace that God has adopted me. I pray that I will always remain in His orbit, although I don’t always turn toward Him.

  26. Bob in Cornwall England says:

    Thanks for sharing that David.
    Somehow that has touched my heart.
    Not quit sure how, yet, but I know it has!

    Bob

  27. phpatato says:

    I enjoyed reading your post Davids.

  28. paule70jac says:

    It is a very excellent article: “abandonment” and would like to read more about it. i also want to forward this article to my daughter Paula Brown. She doesn’t need to know that i am the sender. Please let me know how I can do that. ( I am not a computer savvy but she is) I have her mail and e mail address. WE talk every other day.

  29. poohpity says:

    Why the secret?

  30. mymaster says:

    I really have missed some great ALONE , ABANDONMENT issues here in this blog. I am very excited to what people have to say of the same caliber as I,you all are some wonderful and amazing people to have such insight and you all have taken the words right out of my mouth, Can you tell I am from the SOUTH with the “you all”

  31. mymaster says:

    I would also like to make a comment I have personally dealt with, as what has been said . Why is it when a mother decides to give up her child to her biological father and a child from rape to adoption to parents who have been waiting for 2 years and are unable to conceive the stigma –“OH its the Mother’s fault” for abandoning the children. When there was a better life in the interest of all concerned . So in other words what I am saying abandonment can be an expression of love “to abandon”can equal “to love” in action.I tell you one thing. Rather to abandon than to abort.

  32. SFDBWV says:

    Such wonderful comments. I will only say at this point that *abandonment* and *adoption* are at opposite ends of each other.

    A turtle abandons her eggs and the hatchlings left to follow the path God created for them.

    An adoptee is taken in and becomes a member of the family that has reached out and offered them a home; the opposite of being abandoned.

    Any mature person can look back across their lives and see that every event of their parents lives and theirs are what brought them to where they are. In fact if you are able to see farther into the past, who you are goes farther back into history and can explain a great deal about your own thoughts and behavior.

    A mature Christian can look back across their lives and *see* a different vision, whereas God has brought about events and people that have helped shape and mold you into who you are today.

    Any mature Christian can also say that there have been moments in their lives where they felt abandoned by God; in fact Jesus said clearly “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” Knowing all the while that He had not.

    In that particular statement from Jesus I will always believe it to be a reference to Psalms 22: 1.

    There are a couple periods in Biblical history where there are long silences from God, the 400 years in Egypt for the Hebrew as well as the period from Malachi to John the Baptist and Jesus.

    Both times the Hebrew felt abandoned and both times God was at work creating events in the story of mankind in order to bring about the next chapter in His story.

    We are no different, there are times in our lives when we see, feel and are aware of God’s presence in our situations, but being human they are quickly forgotten and the long stretch between the next chapter in our lives with God seems almost as if we have been forgotten and yes abandoned, usually that is just when He shows up and all too often never as we expect Him to.

    Prayer is the connection to God, The reading of Scripture and meditation a means by which we can *hear* His replies.

    Steve

  33. His Sparrow says:

    Hi Family

    About six years ago, when God was answering my life questions, one of the most significant things He had me read was the first half of a verse in James 4. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this more than once before, but it showed me that because I thought God had abandoned me, most of my life, I was loving the world, and therefore the problems, which was real abandonment….

    In the King Jameseez:

    James 4:8 KJ
    “Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you…”

    If I want the warmth, I get close to Him; the fireplace does not move toward the person, I draw myself close to it.

    Years ago I gave my school age daughter up for adoption to my (ex) in-laws. I could see I wasn’t being responsible and unwilling and unable to change myself at the time, nor did I understand God’s omnipotence. I have a picture of us together the day I put her on a plane. She told me later she kept waiting for me to come get her-took years to realize it wasn’t happening. I spared her what my son went through, but both children suffered at my selfishness.

  34. SFDBWV says:

    His Sparrow, I would love to have you as a neighbor. I live in a small town and there are several other small towns in my area all of us know about each other, sometimes too much, but I can tell you this there are a large number of children raised by grandparents, aunts and uncles for every reason imaginable.

    The fact is that is a story that is many generations long.

    You have come to the right place in your life, to a Savior who will not judge you only love you. How could I ever do otherwise?

    I worry for you though, this must weigh heavy upon you and if I could I would offer you my strength. I also pray that your kids come to a place where they can accept your decision as something you felt was best for them, not just you.

    No one can walk in another’s shoes, but everyone can offer a hand, a shoulder and an ear.

    The Mojave is a long way from here, but you my friend have my heart and my special prayers and whatever support I am able to give.

    Welcome to the family.

    Steve

  35. poohpity says:

    It is the Lord who binds up the brokenhearted. Psalms 147:3 It is the Lord who gives strength Psalms 146:3 Happy is the person who puts their hope in the Lord Psalms 146:5,6,7,8 and it is the Lord who protects and defends Psalms 146:9

  36. davids says:

    Mymaster, I think you bring up a good point. It is hard to believe that there are many cases when a mother gives up her child for adoption out of coldness. In general, I think it is an act of loving desparation, not selfishness or abandonment.

    Mart refers to David’s psalm, but there is no other indication that Jesse or his wife abandoned David. It could simply be a poetic device, like, “If my parents abandon me…”

    In Jesus’ passion, “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” As the receptacle of all the world’s sin, perhaps the Father did turn away from the Son at the end. But in quoting these words, the Son was also fulfilling prophecy, an act of obedience to God’s plan.

  37. His Sparrow says:

    Thank you Steve-you are so right.

    I love my Savior and y’all family.

  38. dawlk61 says:

    I like to thank God for your ministry and in reference to abandonment issues; I have struggled in the past with these issues, however after assessing my past situations it was not God whom abandoned me but me who became bitter and strayed away from the almighy, Isa 26:3 states; ” You will keep him in perfect peace. Whose mind is stayed on You. Lamentations 3:22-24 “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfaithfulness.y portion. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, “Therefore I will hope in Him!” Thank God for His revelations to me and I realize that I must seek him.

  39. mymaster says:

    amen!

  40. narrowpathseeker says:

    His Sparrow; Like Steve, I would be happy to have you as a neighbor. The past is the past and it appears to me that you have become a person that I would be honored to call friend. I too have regrets(many,many)and like many of the beautiful friends/family we have here have told me, stay focused on Jesus and our many blessings. I can’t seem to express with words, my heartfelt gratitude for those here who inspire us and pray for us. I have used up all the words that seem adequate and can’t seem to find any new ones that truly express what I feel.

  41. His Sparrow says:

    Thank you Narrowpathseeker.

    I think God has given us this special place, this BTA neighborhood, so we can all be neigbors.

    I’m going to use text out of context from Esther that I believe shows we are ALL special to God.

    Esther 2:14 KJ

    “…and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for
    such a time as this?”

    we are ALL here at BTA for these times to discuss new things, think about things, share those thoughts and inspirations, encourage and sharpen each other, savor old things.

    Exciting.

    Love
    His Sparrow

  42. poohpity says:

    One of the things I find so admirable with David was the recognition of his sin which caused a separation from God. When confronted with wrong actions he did not blame or make excuses but had a remorseful heart and went to God unlike those in the garden with the first sin they blamed.

    In today’s times it seems most attribute their failures and shortcomings on someone else. Not admitting or even taking personal responsibility for our actions has become common practice. Abandoning our ability to see and admit we have walked away from God’s best. How can we love one another with the love God has shown us if we do not see the condition of our own heart first.

  43. foreverblessed says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your life loads: we all have done wrong things, things we regret. This week it downed upon me that God wrote that He would make everything new Rev 21:5. I always thought this to mean a new heaven and a new earth, big things. But it means something very personal too: He makes everything new what we have done wrong, if we call Jesus our Lord and Master, when He is Lord over our lives, everything that we did wrong, all the hurt wherewith we have hurted others, these things will He make new. Jesus is very busy cleaning up the mess we have made. Isn’t that an awful good thing to meditate upon. Why are we not much happier? Why do we not believe that we are not only forgiven, but also restored, and many around us too.
    At home I have 2 little rabbits, and sometimes they brake loose and go in the garden and make a mess, I have to chase them back in their territory, and then go and clean up the damage they have done. Then I feel, this is what Jesus does with me, and He does it without grumbling. And where He shows me where my fault is, He explains it to me, I repent, and ask Him to help me change.
    Our Lord is so good for us, so gracious.
    Making all things new, and these words are trustworthy and true!

  44. phpatato says:

    Good post Forever. I liked what you said about your rabbits. Jesus does that for us. He is so good and loving!! Thanks for that.

  45. narrowpathseeker says:

    Forever, I also really liked your rabbit analogy. You never fail to lift and encourage those in need. You are truly a blessing.

    Your rabbit story reminded me of our 10 month old Bernise Mountain Dog. She gives new meaning the old saying “eating us out of house and home”. We can not leave her outside alone for any length of time even with her electric collar, because she actually chews the clapboards, the door and window sills! Yesterday, she did it again and when I took her to each part of the house she had chewed and scolded her, she just looked at me so sad, because I never raise my voice to her. She just doesn’t understand what she did wrong. She doesn’t realize that we don’t WANT to punish her with jail…(her crate)or tie her up and that she would have so much more freedom if we could trust her not to chew the house down. You helped me relate this to how much God wants to do for me, if I would just cooperate with His plan, but that He still loves and forgives me when I don’t…. I just lose out on what more He wants to do for me.

  46. glufkin says:

    Dear Mart:
    I have to go along with King David. Sometimes we feel that we have been abandoned only to find that the person hasn’t. They just are slow to come back to us and others want to give us time to discover the reasons for it.

  47. firstthings1st says:

    So then! I would say that Mart is correct in his words of encouragement from: Father in heaven, as You have given us in Your Son the assurance that You will never leave or forsake us, please help us to love one another, as You have loved us.—Mart DeHaan. I would add:

    John 13:34-35 NIV – “A new command I give you: Love one – Bible …www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+13%3A34-35…Cached – Similar
    You +1’d this publicly. Undo
    A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my.

    Love always, Walter Preston, Jr.

  48. dansah says:

    Hi everyone. Thanks for all your wonderful insights regarding this topic of abandonment. dawlk61 quoted the scripture that God will keep in perfect peace he whose mind is stayed on Him. That is the lesson I learned recently when I felt alone and abandoned in the middle of a great shuffle my church went through. Suddenly it did not feel like God was in anything anymore and I felt disillusioned and lost. I started crying out to God to give me a resting place, to regain a sense of security and equillibrum. All I heard back from the Lord is that my sense of security is not in a place, a person, or accomplishments but rather in my continual fellowship with Him. I will be secure and feel secure if I abide in Him. Anywhere, under every circumstance, so far as I allow my mind and heart to stay on him, I will be home in Him

  49. billystan says:

    For me to have received my place in God’s kingdom I had to be put in a place of loss. His Sparrow, I think you were right on the money not harsh. For some the only way for their eyes to be opened and their hearts to be softened God is forced by us to believe we have been abandonded by Him.
    Many things in my life like; abusive parents, being abandonded by them and abusive foster homes had hardened my heart against God. These same people telling me how much God loved me and loved them filled me with confusion. I was constantly asking myself, “How could God love me. Later in life at 55 after attending church 5 or 6 times I began to ask a different question, “How can I love God?” When the answer became clear to me a few weeks later I asked God into my life, heart, and mind. I have forgiven, and I have been forgiven. PRAISE GOD!!!

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