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Beating Ourselves Up

Why do we punish ourselves for old regrets long after we believe God has forgiven us? The question stuck in my mind after a conversation with someone I’ll call TC. TC described himself as being in recovery for multiple addictions. A couple of times he said, “My problem was forgiving myself. I found it a […]

Forgive and Forget?

When God forgives our sins, does he really forget what we have done? Or, as some translations indicate, is it probably more accurate to say that, when he forgives us, he does not remember those sins against us (Psalm 79:8)? I’m raising the question because I ended an earlier post saying that forgiveness, as described […]

Forgiving Ourselves (3)

Why won’t some of us stop punishing ourselves for the wrongs we’ve done? I know the question. Long after I’ve asked God’s forgiveness, I have silently cursed myself for doing things that embarrassed me and hurt others.There was a time, though, that I wouldn’t talk this way. I assumed that forgiving me was God’s prerogative […]

Forgiving Ourselves (2)

As we think together about how hard it can be to forgive ourselves, I took a chance to ask some co-workers, some of whom just happen to be counselors, why they think so many of us continue to beat ourselves up for past mistakes. I thought you might be interested in reading a summary of […]

Forgiving Ourselves (1)

Why do so many of us beat ourselves up for old regrets long after we believe God has forgiven us? How could it be possible for us to find it easier to believe that God has forgiven us than to quit punishing ourselves for what we’ve done? We’ve spent some time thinking about forgiving others. […]

A Time to Forgive

Solomon is remembered for saying that there is a time to be born and a time to die… a time to kill and a time to heal… a time to mourn and a time to dance (Ecc. 3:1-8). But could he also have said there is a time to forgive, and a time to refrain […]

Forgiveness Alternatives

Forgiving those who harm us is only one way to soften our bitterness and anger. Sometimes there are better ways. My reason for emphasizing this is that sometimes it is important to lovingly withhold forgiveness from those who have not yet recognized their wrong. But before going into that in more detail, let me give […]

Unconditional Forgiveness

Is unconditional forgiveness toward those who have harmed us the best way to get the anger out of our stomach? Does forgiving those who have not had a change of heart reflect well on Christ, show his love, and enable us to forgive others as God has forgiven us? These are some of the questions […]

The Forgiveness Question

Something has gone wrong with forgiveness. As wrong and as self-destructive as a bitter, vengeful spirit is, isn’t there something missing when we say, I need to forgive to get the anger out of my own stomach? Is it really Christ-like to say that we need to unconditionally forgive others so that we can get […]

The Trust Card

“I can’t forget what happened. I don’t trust you anymore, and I don’t think I could ever trust you again.” Those words are like a trump card. Whoever uses them wins the hand (assuring mutual defeat) by acknowledging a loss of hope. It doesn’t matter what cards the other player is holding. Mutual trust is […]