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Wounded Pride

Self-directed anger. Fear of failure, rejection and loss. Dissatisfaction. Envy. Like an orchestra of untuned instruments, the noisy emotions of wounded pride refuse to be comforted. In the dark halls and back rooms of our hearts, angry feelings slam doors, break windows, raise voices, and start arguments.

Feelings of not being able to measure up hound us in school, can trip us up on the job, and threaten our sense of safety and security at home. Like demon dogs of discontent, damaged emotions even follow us to church.

Those who’ve been repeatedly rejected and disrespected may have an especially hard time believing the truth about themselves. Children of troubled, self-destructive parents need extra amounts of understanding, encouragement, patience, compassion and mercy. All too often, they bear the scarred emotions of unpredictable neglect, rage, and abuse.

But will we find ourselves only when we listen to those counselors who tell us we need to learn to accept and affirm ourselves as we are.

If we really hate ourselves as much as we think we do, why are we so unnerved by our failures and mistreatment?

With immeasurable understanding and compassion, the Bible repeatedly shows us that–by indulging ourselves in destructive ways, or by berating ourselves unmercifully–our self-contempt is a way of showing that we naturally care about ourselves (Eph 5:29).

Even the most troubled among us alternate between pampering ourselves and beating ourselves up in unhealthy ways– because of a deeper instinct to esteem too highly our own opinions, thoughts, feelings, and rights.

Wounded pride, like the other members of its family, is a deceiver. It looks like self-contempt, feels like death, and acts like something that needs to be encouraged and indulged. But while everyone needs to be loved, no one needs the kind of flattery that cheers a bleeding, grace-rejecting ego. Wounded pride is not to be taken lightly. Even though stunned by circumstance, it remains a rebel (Isaiah 1:1-20), nursing its own wounds, planning its revenge, and raging against the heavens.

Father, forgive us for treating our wounded pride as brokenness and humility. Help us to see that we will never find real comfort, confidence, security, and satisfaction until we rest in Your assurance that “On this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word” (Isa. 66:2). Strengthen us to trust You when You remind us that our own feelings and thoughts must rest in You.

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20 Responses to “Wounded Pride”

  1. desert rose says:

    Your blog today goes in with what the Holy Spirit has been telling me, that “we rest in His care.” He will never leave us nor forsake us. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Do not be afraid, I am your God, I will give you strength, I will help you, I will uphold you. Do not fear because perfect love castes out fear. That love is none other than the one who cared so much when we have become victims of some one’s rage, self-destructive individuals. God’s just wants to bound up the wounded and heal us whether it is spiritual, emotional or mentally and physically. Sometimes we have to wait for the ‘seasons’ of our lives to realize what God has really done. We may not realize the depth of why we have suffered until we meet Him face to face.

  • poohpity says:

    Good Morning,

    I have suffered all of the above and have spent time in counseling to undo the pain and emotional distress I have suffered. The best and healthiest counseling I have received is from reading God’s Word. I do have to admit at first when I opened His Word it was so affirming to me that God used so many that were flawed to accomplish His will and then had to realize that I to am flawed. At that time I also realized that I say and do things that can harm others too. The Bible warns us of all the damage the tongue can cause and how important it is to care for each other in love but I believe the most important thing the bible teaches is to watch our own behavior and to control our own tongues. If you look around the world it is people (God’s creation) that causes the most harm to people.

    Today I have to say that although not perfect by any means but God gave me the parents He gave me to make me who I am today and He can and does use me just like I am but I have to be receptive to His leading. To be receptive you have to get your eyes off of yourself and on to God who heals all our hurts because only He can turn them around to be a benefit to more than myself.

    Sometimes I watch how people come to my church hungry and are turned away because maybe the person administering the care has never suffered hunger. I realize how much of a benefit it is to have suffered; hurt, pain , hunger, rejection and all of the so called pains because now I can benefit someone else with empathy and can embrace them with compassion.

    With God it all works out. He uses everything for good. I am talking about EVERYTHING for good, if we get our eyes on HIM. He has only asked us to put Him first since the beginning of time and CONTINUES with patience to the end times. It works, I have imperfectly done it.