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While Phelps Wins Gold Others Are Going Under

Toward the end of our last conversation about “What Michael Phelps Needed”, one of our friends raised a question that is too important to be lost at the end of a string of comments. The question comes to us like this:

“Why did God create [Michael Phelps] to be such a great swimmer and give him success and talents and skill and victory and yet deny many others their desires?”

The question continues like this, “I hear pastors speak of “brokenness” and that we need to do God’s will, well here’s a man who God created and is doing his own will which mirrors God’s. God has crowned him with fame, success, skill, gifts, talents, and soon-to-be-wealth and this man is living his dreams.”

At this point the writer adds, “Please don’t bring the potter/clay argument into this. How can God so lavishly bless one person while making the life of a believer a living hell? How can I look at God’s love and favor for this man or someone like King David and not feel He is not loving me as much?

I do NOT think God personally loves me and I am NOT happy with what he has done in my life. Sexual abuse at age 11, broken home, loss of a brother, handicapped child, loss of job and home. God’s will for me is an oppressive weight and I am AFRAID of His next move. I do NOT like God’s plans He made for me. He seems to have created me for a life of extreme pain, sorrow, and loss.

Hooray Michael Phelps honored by God and we KNOW God gave him all of this.”

That’s the question that I found when I woke up this morning and checked for comments that have come in overnight.

One thing that I’ve come to appreciate so much about our ongoing conversations is that any number of you have indicated that you are living with profound and very painful issues that have tested your faith in God.

I believe that together we could agree that one of the best things Job’s three friends did was to come to his side, and sit quietly with him in his tears. But eventually someone had to respond to Job’s grief, questions, and complaints (Job 3). The problem was that in their formulaic, moralistic, and very misguided comments they ended up multiplying the pain of their friend rather than sharing the burden.

We can sense together, can’t we, that this hurting heart does not need a sermon from us. Nor do we want to repeat the mistakes of Job’s friends.

My take is that this hurting heart needs to hear the gentle words of those who have honestly and realistically come to terms with their own pain, discouragement, and disillusionment without losing the faith.

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31 Responses to “While Phelps Wins Gold Others Are Going Under”

  1. chfranke says:

    Dear Hurting Heart (Trying to Trust God)
    You believe. You understand what Christ went through in His life for YOU. You understand that God gives blessings to all believers. You don’t understand why God has laid such heavy burdens, one after the other, on you. Where’s your blessings? I hope I have stated your post correctly.
    What are the blessings God HAS given you? Do you have good health? Do you have good shelter? Do you have food to nurish you? Do you have work and a decent wage?
    I think that’s a start for this discussion.

  2. siesand says:

    Dear Hurting Heart,
    I feel so badly for you. Life sure is difficult. I don’t understand why God has allowed such hardship and trouble in your life. I do know that there have been times in my life when I felt the same way. One thing that helped me greatly was to immerse myself in the Bible. I read the Psalms continually. When one of them seemed to help me, I kept it in my mind and went over it and over it. One of the main ones that helped was the phrase, “HOPE IN GOD, do not doubt his power.” Just the very essence of what you are saying says that you are doubting that there is a God who loves you. Try to hope.
    Just a little bit of hope can pull you through this. God is there and he does love you. Many times I also doubted that but usually even though my circumstances did not change, my attitude did and that alone can help.
    The other thing is that you need to realize that God has cried over the things that happened to you-the sexual abuse, the broken home you grew up in. He has felt as much sorrow over your circumstances as you have. Fame, riches, personal dreams are fine but he wants a relationship with you. He wants your heart. He loves you so much. You may not feel that but believing is trusting even when you don’t “feel” or even “see” it.
    Hebrews 4:16 says “Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. What you need isn’t riches and fame, it is grace in time of need.

  3. dep7547 says:

    Trying to trust God, you have beautifully expressed feelings that I have often felt. I cannot say that I have suffered all of the things you have; I know that I have been tormented severely not only in my life, but, also, in the lives of so many people every single day. Watching a “select few” rule the world’s stage is more often an insult than anything!

    I do not envy their lives–I get tired more of the selfish motives that seem to evolve from such success. I guess Phelps threw in some humility by acknowledging his team-mates and staff, still, you question the motives of someone who forgets or is afraid to acknowledge God’s role in his/her life. I am heartily sorry for the bitter anguish that all but disappears from the memories of such trials; however, I will continue this day with you in my prayers. Thank you and God bless!

  4. vabrown says:

    Dear Healed Heart (by faith), one thing you should never do as a Believer is to compare yourself or lot in life to that of someone else. I don’t know if Michael Phleps has made Jesus his Lord and Savior, but if he hasn’t “what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but to lose his soul.” All the medals, fame, financial success, etc. is not worth going to hell over. If Phelps is saved we should be celebrating the honor, favor, and talent God has gifted him with, knowing that “God is no respector of persons.” If He can bless Michael Phelps then He can bless us too. A blessing is an empowerement to prosper, not just material things. You were created in the image and likness of Almighty God; you have the Spirit of Christ living on the inside of you! In the name of Jesus, get off that bed of self- pity, doubt, and unbelief. You can’t change your past, but can change your future. It’s not God who sexually abused you, gave you a broken home, or caused you to lose your job. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world and we sometimes suffer the consquences of other people’s decisions, as well as our own bad decisions. Meditate on God’s love for you (Ps. 103:11), and don’t allow yourself to be a victim, but a victor! “Forget those things which are behind and press toward the mark of the high calling.” If you are in Christ you have everything you need to be successful in this life and the one to come, but you have to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. So, get to work on becoming more than a conqueror. Your Loving Father will see you through and help you (Ps. 54:4), but if you cut off the only Person that can help you, you may continue to have a life of struggle and disappointment.


  5. SeekingGod says:

    I don’t think it’s always just that easy, chfranke, to just count your blessings and have everything be ok. Why DO bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people?

    2008 has been a year of struggle for me so far, seemingly one bad thing after another. Why God?

    I’ve been reading through the Gospels lately. Do you know how many times I’ve read that if your faith is strong enough you’ll be healed? Do you know how many times I’ve thrown that back at God? I know that in the blink of an eye He could make things better, easier, nicer. Why doesn’t He?

    So what I’ve got a good job? I don’t have __________ (fill in the blank). And the list could go on and on.

    As I’ve been struggling with my questions lately, and trying to be open to His still small voice, something that I keep “hearing” is this….TRUST ME. “God, why won’t You heal me?” TRUST ME. “Why won’t You let me understand why life is such a struggle at times?” TRUST ME.

    Trusting Him sure is an act of faith. I think my faith is growing as I question Him and hear “TRUST ME.” But it sure is a lot of work…and honestly, sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.

    Ecclesiastes has become one of my favorite books. In essence it says to me that yes, life is hard, but God is God. He’s God! And my struggles are worth it because His Word tells me that He’s making me more Christ-like as I persevere.

    And so I press on…

  6. daisymarygoldr says:

    All I can say to this Hurting heart is: I’m Sorry, for all the hurts and pain you are going through…trust God…even when you are surrounded by the success and prosperity of this world…even when you are told that it is all about the “here and the now”…even when you see the whole world reveling at and laughing with the successful Phelpses of this world (ashamed to admit that I was also one among them)… remember, nothing lasts forever…those who laugh will weep and those who weep will laugh…remember that it was Lazarus the beggar who got to have the last laugh in the lap of Abraham…do not listen to what people say…we are fickle-minded, short-sighted and our faith is shallow…lift your eyes of faith and look at the ONE who is catching your every tear drop in a bottle…. “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psa 30:5)…the darkest night is always followed by the hope of dawn and the raging storm will eventually yield to the brightest sunshine of your life…just keep trying to trust God- who became a suffering servant so you and I may have eternal joy… praying for you…

  7. poohpity says:

    When the clouds begin sometimes there are very few yet as the day continues the clouds build and build until the sky turns black and the lightening bolts dart across the sky. Then the thunder begins and the rain pelts down sometimes small drops sometimes large drops with hail. The wind blows chasing the rain in one direction then to the next. Although it is day time it is so dark yet behind the clouds, lightening, thunder and rain, the sun still shines. That is how God’s love is we can KNOW that behind the storm is a peace and calm and warmth of the beautiful SON.

    Trying To Trust God,
    I bet your feelings of anger, frustration, hopelessness and probably depression are the storm in your life right now. I know you did not ask for advice and so I will not give you any. I do know that when I was in that position of despair I yelled, screamed, and cried at God because He was the only one that did not offer me advice but He listened.

  8. Valkiria says:

    I understand your pain, as hurting goes, I have many in my life too! And weird as it may be, the more I hurt, more close to God I feel. When I left my country and family, more than 10 years ago, I found myself alone in a strange place, with no knowledge of the language and culture, but, somehow I knew that God took me here and that He’d make it work. In other words, when I couldn’t find any other material comfort, I HAD to rely on God. Every time I trusted someone or something else, I failed. Maybe that made me uncomfortable around people, but it reinforced my faith in God. I struggle to love my neighbor, because I’m afraid to get hurt again, but I know that God is going to work that too!
    Pray foe me, as I’ll be praying for you!

  9. poohpity says:


    I just wanted to add wouldn’t it be nice if those Gold medals were sold and the proceeds were given to the hungry, poor and homeless. Gosh when they sit on the self long enough they collect a lot of dust. The athletes after so many years their bones begin to get brittle and arthritis develops then where are they. It would be nice if we could win wars by athletes competing instead of shedding blood. Another thing I noticed is how neat it is that the swimmers make their legs and feet move like the dolphins. :)

  10. Langin50 says:

    Every Christian need to read the entire Psalm 37 and you will never fret about others :-) Mike L.

  11. desert rose says:

    I too have often wondered why God has blessed others with so many talents or money and others suffer so greatly. When I have heard the phrase “all men have been created equal” I question the absolute truth of that statement. Equal in what way? What about those who are born without full mental or physical function?

    You will find the answers you are looking for, for many will be praying for that. When you search for something, such as God, you will find Him when you seek with your whole heart. Only He can fill your hungry soul with goodness.

    May God meet the needs you have and may you be open to His ways. We are not given the whole picture in life, we are only privy to a small part. Job did not know he was being tested. We hope you will comment back so we can be part of being a friend to you. I love you and care what happens to you.

    P.S. I’ve endured a ‘sexual abusive cult’ and I have found God as the source of my strength and I also was raped as a child and had abusive parents. My mother committed suicide when I was in the 4th grade and I was a single parent for many years. There is help for you.

  12. JayeBird says:

    Trying to Trust God, you ripped my heart so that I could not breathe with the openess of your cry to our Father. How I wish I could offer comfort and wisdom, but this is pain beyond words. And I am not someone who has walked in your shoes. The trials in my life seem so inconsequential compared to yours. And yet, your question is one which everyone wrestles with and cries over. Even those of us who have not lived with such pain and feelings of abandonment see people we know facing these struggles and we too wonder. My sister-in-law voiced it well recently. A friend of hers is fighting yet another cancer and he and his wife are trying to counsel and comfort their teenage daughter to trust God. My sister-in-law looked at all the blessings in her life and wondered why her and not her friend. And why her friend and not her? Do we not all who love God and believe God still ask this question? There is no human answer that satisfies. It requires letting go of human reasoning and understanding and letting God draw us near and hold us.

    One participant in all of this that must be recognized is Satan. In the story of Job, we get to see behind the scenes and realize that we who love God are enemies of God’s enemy. And he will do whatever is within his power to steal our joy from us. We must acknowledge that he is in the world because we allowed it. (I DO NOT mean that individuals who suffer do so because of their sin at all, not at all!) But while we ask why God does not prevent suffering and loss, we must see that we cannot fully grasp God’s character and design. He, in total love, is weaving a pattern of beauty out of the mess that his enemy has caused through first his arrogance and then his envy and hate. We are just too close to the tapestry to see what God is doing.

    Trying to Trust God, I once worked at a school where I met many children from homes that offered them nothing but rejection and suffering and humiliation. Sweet, innocent children, just like you, were whose very beings were shaped by those awful experiences and changed forever. Do you know what was the most difficult thing for me to accept in all of that? That no matter how hard I tried to “be there” for them, to show them love, to make them know they were special, to make them know they did not deserve what had happened to them, nothing I said or did could “make up” for their pain. They still believed all the bad stuff about themselves that they had learned from their parents. I believe that God feels that same absolute sadness and helplessness every time that we do not let him comfort and restore us.

    With all that you have been through, I know that I have no right to ask you this. But please don’t be afraid that you will only be hurt again. Please believe that God does love you and that when absolutely nothing else is left, he will be there for you.

  13. crosspatch says:

    I am only now starting to rejoin the land of the living and starting to care for others again. I would first like to speak as if talking directly to this person and then offer some practical advice.
    Romans 12 calls us to weep with those who weep. I weep with you. I hope you have Christian friends and family who weep with you.
    The questions no one else can answer are the ones to bring to God. You are on the right track by expressing your honest emotion to God and about God. I think we like to quote scripture to each other because we are trying to express that he is the one with the answers. Sometimes he doesn’t give us the answers.
    We, even Christians, tend to value people for what they can do instead of who they are. There was a time I could not say “I am a beloved child of God” without weeping because I did not believe it and I had not even been aware of that pain. I had not been valued as a person created by God. You are created in God’s image and that makes you pricelessly valuable. I hope and pray that you can say “I am a beloved child of God” and know it. Let it resonate deep within your soul. If it makes you cry, that’s ok.
    Look up to Christ Jesus, spend time with him at the cross. And look forward to heaven, knowing that God is just and he will restore. Please note I am not saying everything will be fixed in the now.
    For practical advice, I hope you have received counseling. You have listed a lot of major life events which are each difficult. I am on an anti-depressant and it has helped me. Seek a medical professional if you think it might help you. I know, as Christians, we get uncomfortable about psychiatric medications but I humbly receive it as from God who gave someone the wisdom to develop certain medications. I also hope you are getting the support you need in raising a handicapped child.
    I have a friend who always ends phone conversations with the phrase, “keep looking up”. Sometimes that really bugs me. If I could be in the same room with you now is when I would give you a hug and help you in whatever way you needed me to. I hope you find someone to do that. Thank you for honestly sharing.

  14. pegramsdell says:

    I feel such pain for you having suffered so much. I wish I could hold you and tell you that everything will be allright.
    That’s all I ever want when I am hurting or in pain.
    I love you, and I’m sorry.
    I know that God does love you and that He died for you to prove His love and sacrifice. He suffered too. I don’t know why, wish I did.
    Hang in there and just believe.

  15. paul bishop says:


  16. poohpity says:

    Hey Paul,

    What does that mean?

  17. forteag says:

    I can only offer the words of the following song.

    Tempted and tried we’re made to wonder
    Why it should be thus all the day long
    While there are others living about us
    Never molested though in the wrong

    Farther along we’ll know all about it
    Farther along we’ll understand why
    Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
    We’ll understand it all by and by.

    Job did!

    May the God of all grace
    Comform you in your pain.

    Only God can see all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of our lives.


  18. jgs says:

    to: trying to trust god
    i too am where you are and have felt this way most of my life. a day doesn’t pass without tears. although i beg and plead for god to relieve the pain, it’s still there. i often think that by hanging onto the words of scripture that should offer comfort, i am just fruitlessly brainwashing myself. i have even taken my bible and thrown it into the closet and said, “forget it”. i read and think, “i guess that just applies to that person at that time”. i have even considered suicide (and tried it in my younger years but made a vow to god that i wouldn’t try it again) i am so terribly exhausted with trying to figure it out.
    then i consider the alternative
    there is no alternative
    i continue to hang unto the hope that somehow things will come out in the end like they did for job.

  19. Trying To Trust God says:

    Let me explain more in detail of what I feel. I KNOW God can do all things. The Bible says He had plans for me since before the Earth was founded. Well the life He crafted and has woven together from me is a sorrowful existence.

    Well I look at people in the Bible like Abraham, King David, Jacob, Solomon and think wow God really crafted a beautiful life for them. No wonder David trusted God. God blessed the works of their hands, He protected them, even in their sin! For example Abraham lying about his wife/sister and God punishes the King and Abraham leaves with wealth.

    My son is early 20’s and he has suffered his whole life 5 broken legs (4 medically induced to fix hip problems, seizures, legally blind, eye surgeries, hamstrings cut to reduce leg spacisity. Do you know what’s it’s like living with suffering 24/7 for 24 years? To see your child in such pain year after year after year. How it wears you down? How it eats away your joy and hope?

    Why did God have to create this life for me? Why did He allow it? He is God, He could have planned a life for my family and I that was just as wonderful as King David’s, Abraham’s, or Michael Phelps. God say’s be content, well like Job I can put a smile on my face, but then what will come against me next? Job 9:27-28.

    I see God as basically detached from my suffering and sometimes i feel He is unjust, but He says He isn’t but I can’t deny the differences I see. He is God He doesn’t really feel pain. He is Glory and has hidden Himself from our sight as He can’t even bear to see evil yet we must live with the smell of it in our nostrils day after day.

    God fashions lives of Joy, Triumph, Success, Posterity, Peace, Wealth, Fame, AND SALVATION for those He truly loves and others He destines a life of Pain, Agony, Suffering, Poverty, Unmet needs, Unfulfilled desires, and to deny the truth of that reality is not being honest.

    In the Bible we are told “God blessed him in all that he did…” Over and over for many of the Bible’s hero’s Genesis 24:35 is just one example of the truth of God’s special favor being trumpeted and Biblical writers praising God’s love and favor upon men.

    I also do NOT glory or take comfort in the fact that someone somewhere might even have it worse.

    God gave us His word and He said Trust Me because of what I have done for others, Trust Me because of what I have revealed about myself, but then I am told just because He did somethings for some people doesn’t mean He will do the same for me. If that’s is try then WHAT can I believe in?

    God is God. I do not doubt WHAT He can do, but I don’t know what He WILL do. I have no joy. Our family is so burdened. If I told you the truth you’d not believe it. My mother-in-law is undergoing Chemo and she and my father-in-law now share our apartment. So much suffering in our home. I feel trapped.

    My wife works I care for our children and must help care for my inlaws.

    I have BEGGED God for nearly a year about 28 NEEDS and desires.

    I want a life. I want God to keep His word. I have had a tough life since childhood. Parents divorced, abused at age 11 from a baby sitter, on my own at a young age. Severely handicapped child, Lost my brother to AIDS. Lost our home and nearly everything we own in the mortgage meltdown.

    So then I look at a man like Michael Phelps and I say Why God? Even in my pain and anger and bitterness I have repented of my mumbling and complaining and have sought God to remember me and to lift us up. Psalm 40 has been my bedrock prayer, but my life is Psalm 88.

    I have burdens for others too and I cry out to God because I cant do much to relieve others who suffer. Plus I have dreams and desires that seem 1 million miles away.

    What causes me the MOST pain is knowing there IS a God who can do all things, but chooses to remain silent. Then I feel my anguish and expression of grief and my “bitter complain” causes me to fail the test and thus I’m thrown back into the fire until I submit without a sound until I am so broken I can’t care nor cry anymore.

    God why have you forsaken me. Lord can you hear me? Please love me like you loved King David. I pray for God to give me strength, love, hope, faith, and courage, but I am at my end.

    Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut me of.Then I would still have this consolation my joy in unrelenting pain that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.

    God I am not steel or bronze I can’t hope forever.

    I do love God, but I just can’t bear anymore loss, sorrow, and pain. I want to stop. I have tried to be strong to be like Job and to please God for His glory, but I have failed

  20. kaliko88 says:

    I have felt some of that pain. I too was abused sexually, as early as age 10. It has haunted me, always. I have had family troubles and family in trouble. Cancer has been a specter in our lives, a brother has gone to war, divorce has damaged what was once good, and three in my family were special needs children, including my niece.

    I’ve asked why, and why me, and why us? For a time it all pushed me away from God. This despite a loving family who struggled together. It was that loving family who kept me from falling away altogether, though it was a close thing. I sunk deeper in my own selfishness and anger for several years.

    I’m not sure what started me turning back. Several things and people, if my memory is true, drew me in. I do know, though, that eventually I realized I could be mad at God all I wanted, but He wasn’t the one to be angry at. I could be mad at the people who hurt me, but some I never saw again and others were those I also loved the most. There was no point in being angry with no one to be angry at, and it hurt too much to stay angry at the ones I could forgive and love again.

    I’m not deep enough into my bible readings yet to quote appropriate verses. I know I found comfort there, though.

    It’s easy to say that Satan is the real enemy, but it’s hard to accept it and live that way. Still, as I learn and as I watch, I agree more and more that the battle is on and we are behind enemy lines. If we give up hope, if we give in to anger, Satan wins.

    You have one of the toughest fights I’ve ever seen. I hope you’ll find the resolve to keep going. I can offer my prayers and these words, but only you can decide if they are a beginning to healing. Even if they’re not, I’ll pray anyway. It’s one of the few weapons I have against all that anger. I’ll pray for you and yours, for help, for comfort, for blessings. For belief to fight with the hope from God’s promise – no more tears.

  21. tplog says:

    All of this assumes that Michael Phelps has no struggles or pain and that winning “Gold” is good. I do not know if this is good for M Phelps. All I know is that he won gold medals and at this moment in time appears to be very happy about it. Don’t confuse “happy” with the true joy we know in Christ. Pauls letter to the church in Philippi makes it clear that Joy can accompany suffering. It is more about attitude than present physical conditions that “make us happy”.

  22. forteag says:

    Trying To Trust God

    I do not know why Psalms 2 came into my spirit and I am sure you have read it many times.

    However for all it’s worth you can read it again.

    These 3 verses are offered as a start

    7 The king proclaims the Lord’s decree:
    “The Lord said to me, ‘You are my son.
    Today I have become your Father.
    8 Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance,the whole earth as your possession.
    9 You will break[d] them with an iron rod
    and smash them like clay pots.’


  23. chfranke says:

    Trying To Trust God,
    You are on the right track! Thank you for staying with us and continuing to share your heart with us. You are taking a powerful step by doing that. You are working out your next steps here.
    First, you have not failed. You are going through a process. Yes, it is a painful process but let me assure you that you are making progress.
    We are witnesses to you. We have all gone through a similar process; perhaps not as extreme as yours, but we all have our own stories of pain and struggle to tell. As witnesses, we are testifying truthfully that we got through it and so will you.
    Next, in regard to what causes you the most pain: “knowing there IS a God who can do all things, but chooses to remain silent.” He loves you so much that he lets you choose how you will relate to Him. You are angry and are working through that anger. That’s great! Please understand that you determine what comes next.
    Listen to our testimonies. They are real! Especially, kaliko88: “I’m not sure what started me turning back. Several things and people, if my memory is true, drew me in. I do know, though, that eventually I realized I could be mad at God all I wanted, but He wasn’t the one to be angry at. I could be mad at the people who hurt me, but some I never saw again and others were those I also loved the most. There was no point in being angry with no one to be angry at, and it hurt too much to stay angry at the ones I could forgive and love again.”
    There are so many resources on this website. Look at 10 Reasons To Believe; God Offers the Perfect Gift.
    If you don’t have a church family, find a Christian church with sound doctrine. Check out several and find one where your family will feel comfortable and welcomed.
    I’ll let others share, too.
    God bless you, Trying To Find God! You will. I promise. I’ll be praying for you, too.

  24. poohpity says:

    Trying to trust God,

    I am confused how you figure that the life of Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon were considered blessed without struggle. I have read their stories many times and have found that they were blessed with struggles. I have never read about anyone in scripture who was without struggles, no one and I ask you to show me who. Example: Let’s just consider the life of Abraham. He was shown a land that was promised to His descendants and was never able to go there. He was promised that his descendants would be more than the stars in the sky or the sand in the desert, did he ever see the fulfillment of those. He wanted a son and that did not happen until he was 100 years old, except that he took matters into his own hands and had Ismael who’s descendants have created radical Islam. David’s son died because he had an affair and killed someone and not to mention the new testament people who were stoned, whipped, beheaded, hung upside down on a cross, put in jail, starved, homeless, made fun of and not to mention Jesus who being Himself God went through being whipped with a whip with shards of metal and glass that ripped His body to where it was unrecognizable as human flesh and then had nails driven into His hands and feet while He suffocated until death so that we could approach a Holy God. If there is nothing else to be thankful for when we die we will be accepted into a place where there will be no more pain, suffering or tears.

    I alone have spent the the majority of my childhood being physically and emotionally abused. I had 4 Hip surgeries before the age of 15 and 5 more since. I had a person (my first husband) knock my eye through my eye socket and my skull cracked open(with 2 pool sticks) trying to defend someone who could not defend himself. I empathize with you in your suffering but in my life and those that have suffered in the bible no one is exempt from suffering and it does not mean anyone is loved anymore than anyone else. I believe you are blessed because you are able to experience the sadness that the Lord feels for us and experienced for us when He did not deserve it. You can see and feel the pain He feels for us when He sees us in times of trouble. Through this period in your life embrace it because one day YOU will be able to comfort someone else who is going through what you are going through because there will be someone else someday and then you will be able to bring them HOPE.

    I love God very much and trust Him with my life because I know He loves me because of what He did on the cross and if nothing else ever happens, That I think is a blessing, That proves His love for us.

  25. dx7 says:

    Hi Trying To Trust God..

    I think it’s bloody unfair sometimes too and I get so sick of it. Forgive me for the following rant – I need to get this off my chest as well.

    I was fantastic at all sorts of sports, a good student, not bad at music. But I was born with atopic eczema and couldn’t take the sun and heat so my mother and doctor didn’t allow me to do any sports. I came down with severe depression at 12, my school grades dropped and I lost many chances to go into good schools. I lost interest in almost everything including music and stopped playing musical instruments.

    Why did God give me these gifts to have them crushed?

    Somehow I made it to univerisity and did my first degree abroad. Some good Christian people found me and stuck with my weirdness and craziness caused from anti-depressants. Just when I felt I was progressing spiritually, my course ended and I had to return home.

    Why did God give me good friends and help me progress and then make me leave?

    After graduating I held a job for two months but left severely traumatised from bullying and being overworked. I couldn’t find another job. My parents got me to study again – said I couldn’t just sit at home. Ended up studying for another degree abroad. I’ve had a miserable three years with eating problems, depression, being racially discriminated against. The students here – they copy other people’s work and pay people to do their assignments for them. They rip pages out of library books to prevent other people from accessing them. So many have come to me asking for lecture notes and exam notes and I give what I have to them, but when I ask them for help they refuse to help or say yes and then conveniently forget.

    I work so hard and do not copy or cheat, but what is the point of being honest and hardworking when those who copy and cheat and are selfish get ahead with good marks and get places in top firms? What is the point of being nice when you just get trampled on? Why does God make their lives so smooth – they don’t even care about God – yet make mine so painful?

    I am homosexual but have never acted on it. Everyone has different views on homosexuality. I feel that God does not want me to act on it. I see other homosexuals acting on it and have wonderful lives. Why am I suffering?

    Lots of times I cry myself to sleep telling God I cannot take it anymore and He should never have created me. I beg Him to kill me please, to destroy my existence, make it so I never existed. I get so feddup and frustrated.. I hate God sometimes. And I don’t know why I hang on to God still for dear life. Day by day, just trying to make it through.

    It really sucks for some people. It’s bloody unfair. I don’t know why. I don’t know what to say about your situation Trying To Trust God. But you must hang in there. You have to. I don’t know why. You just must hang in there with all your might. Just hang in there.

  26. mondieu4vie says:

    Dear hurting heart,
    I offer what solace I can, given to me by the grace of God. Do you personally think there is a purpose in human suffering? Is it all punishment? Are we just pawns in this powerful culmination (and hopefully, soon, climax) of prophesy and divine planning? No. I wish to be very humble about this point; I believe pain, suffering are as a direct result of that death of innocence in Adam. Understand, I don’t mean to get philosophical about something so deeply personal. I believe to suffer is the lot of man until either death or rapture. Our Lord is the light within the tempest of our lives, the lifeline. But that doesn’t stop us from being hit by every incarnation of human suffering. That is one part of the reason why Jesus came in the first place: to show us where that lifeline lies, exactly. We pain, we hurt and are hurt, but God still remains. I can imagine that after such abuse, you wondered about your own self-worth. Whether God loved you, or whether you were even worth His love. Perhaps even now you might wonder whether your struggles and tribulations are as a result of it. Simple truth: None are worthy. All are essentially at the mercy and wrath of the Ever Living God. And guess what? The message: “God loved us so much that He sent His only begotten son…” isn’t there by accident. His mercy and comfort IS there, though not always in what we can see and/or touch .Michael Phelps has his ‘dreams’ at the Olympics fulfilled. Have you thought about the prize at the end of YOUR road? He has trained for months on end, in the pool to achieve this; Day and night, to swim for his goals. Heads up Hurting Heart, for ALL YOUR LIFE you have been through the fires of hurt and pain, anguish, self-doubt and probably a powerful conscience. Let’s not forget temptations, having to watch others suffer too, personal mistakes and worst of all, attacks from the VERY present Enemy. My fellow Christian, your trials and testing are far beyond Michael’s, how much so will your prize be when the Lord calls you from his service? Be at peace Hurting Heart, the very worst than man and his suffering can heap on you is death…which will lead you straight into the arms of God. Be encouraged…

  27. micki-b says:

    dx-7 & trying to trust God… i am where you guys are. we are all 3 of us just hanging on trying to keep trusting Someone that we know is good all the time but we aren’t too sure that it is good for us… Lots of suffering and misery and agony. we will hang in there anyway. God bless you both, even thru your pain and suffering.

  28. infiniti07 says:

    I cannot begin to compare my struggles with what some of you go through in your life journey. I can only tell you that when I go through the “valleys” in my journey, it also seems that I sometimes go through it alone. Thankfully, I reach a point where the Holy Spirit reminds me of how I first came to trust in Jesus, that he endured pain when he did not deserve it and even he felt abandoned on the cross. Yet he was faithful to the Father and he was resurrected into the life that all believers hope for. We live for a hope and an everlasting life that is not in our present physical world because this WILL come to past. We look forward to a new home in heaven that is right beside our God…that is worth waiting for and enduring pain and struggles. Christ gives me eternal hope, not short term material gain. The mental anguish of feeling alone, forgotten and rejected is enormous and unbearable for us at times but Christ’s example and victory is ours to share because this is God’s promise and He will never leave or reject us and if we are faithful, our short span of time on earth will seem to be a blemish in the eternal span of time. I hope you can take comfort in some of the poems I wrote for myself to get through some of my tougher times…they’re not over but the hope has not failed me. May God’s face shine on you.

    Sharing the Journey
    (March 28/06)

    Because He first loved me, I am able to see;
    In my mind’s eye what He wants me to be,
    God patiently waits for me to respond;
    With complete trust from now to the end.

    God’s faith in me, never waivers one bit;
    Because He already knows, how things in my life fits.
    God patiently waits for me to respond;
    With complete confidence from now to the end.

    The reason why things are the way they turn out;
    It takes life’s experiences to show me the route.
    To help others see every step of the way;
    The way God brings joy, to them some day.

    God patiently waits for me to respond;
    With complete faith from now to the end.

    Journey through the Valley
    (October 30/06)

    In my minds eye, I am traveling through the valley
    Joy in life doesn’t seem to be in my alley.
    My thoughts travel up and then they go low;
    But then I know of that which I must let go.

    Where is the Lord, He seems so far away?
    Will he lift the burden and show me not to stray?
    Prayer is a struggle and words become shallow;
    But then I know of that which I must let go

    Turn to the Lord and let Him have his way;
    With all that I do I must trust and obey
    Then something comes up, a glimmer of hope
    I will go from the valley out of the slippery slope

    Journey through the Mountains
    (Dec 5/06)

    I’m on higher ground, the Lord took me there
    And because He is near, I will not despair;
    The journey is long and the view is wide
    But I must look straight ahead and know He is by my side.

    More times than not the path will be rocky,
    It will bend and twist and turn and be bumpy;
    But when the going gets tough I will always know
    The path to take is the straight and narrow.

    It’s not so easy just to know and to ponder
    About life’s difficult trials when you begin to wonder;
    As the climb up the mountain becomes tougher and tougher
    Is He still there as the going gets rougher?

    And then the relentless climb seems to come to an end
    But suddenly an obstacle comes right around the bend
    Too tough to climb up, to go around or under,
    It seems impossible, you begin to wonder.

    But just when you think that all is lost
    The Lord follows through and you count the cost
    Of churning your wheels and going at length
    Through stressing and straining within your own strength

    He was there all the time quietly waiting for you
    To accept His guidance and to know that it’s true
    That your journey could be shorter without the strain;
    When you depend on Him to relieve the pain.

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