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Marriage Disconnect?

Have been working with our team to revisit a booklet answering the question, “What Does God Expect of Men and Women?” Together we want to be faithful to the intent and wisdom of Scriptures while applying its timeless principles to the changing circumstances of our lives.

One of the things some of us have noticed over the years is that many of us do not practice an “authority and submission” relationship in the manner that Christians of the first century might have. For example, the  Apostle Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands in all things.

Early in marriage, I remember trying to use my “headship” as a way of “getting my way” and to gain compliance from my wife. I no longer do this :-)… Neither do I expect my wife to submit to every idea I have for how our time or money should be spent. Yet I believe our mutual love and respect is far deeper today than when we were first married, and I don’t believe I am trying to dodge my responsibility to sacrificially love my wife “as Christ loved the church”– even though I often fail miserably in doing so.

I have some ideas about why this “marriage disconnect” from a first century pattern is happening but wish I could hear some discussion from you  on this issue.

PS Have added more of where I am on this in the discussion below (i.e. on the meaning of submit).

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160 Responses to “Marriage Disconnect?”

  1. bretnb says:

    I am single so this is from observation. To many men think that they must be totally obeyed by their wife.

    If I remember God made Eve as a help mate. To be by his side. I know that the husband is the head of the house. And if there is a decision that the couple can’t come together on the husband needs to be the last word. But he must do it with wisdom not “just to be right”.


  • barbidoll33 says:

    I think it is hard to SUBMIT to another person when we are taught and continue to teach our children to be self sufficient and to be take care of themselves and not need to depend on someone else. Therefore we make our own decisions and are accountable to ourselves. It is hard to submmit to someone you dont feel you can depend on or who doesnt have your best interest at heart and is also only concerned about taking care of themselves and looking out for themselves.